"You cannot face the Pac-King alone! Here," she proclaimed. "Take these 3 brave teenage knights. But beware, the Pac-King is treacherous with youngsters. He can seduce them with the power of the internet, the lure of the CD burner, and the call of the TV. You must watch these knights carefully. Used well, they will be of great aid to your journey. Unsupervised, they will likely eat all your food and steal your stereo."
We had not set 2 feet (Dragon has rather large feet, so it's a bit of a process) into the apartment before the knights roared into battle - with the computer. They also discovered the Peanut Butter M&Ms with very little effort.
"Hey! Those are for Dragon. She needs them to stay on task!" I tossed an M&M at Dragon who had been distracted by the antics of the youngest knight. Dragon sizzled the thieving knight's hair. She's got pretty good aim these days.
"Shreek, Shuzzzzz, Rrrr-ahhhh-rrrr!" Dragon cried. Translation: To the bedroom you mangy curs or I won't buy you pizza.
The 3 knights set to work. Bam! The books were encased in cardboard. Clang! The linen closet emptied. Crash! The media center spit out its contents. Swish! The patio was cleaned.
I glanced around as I polished the doors to the patio. There were no knights. When I re-entered the apartment, Dragon and the knights were playing Ms. Pac-Man on the computer while burning CDs.
"Look, I'm not made for physical labors. I'm a scribe, people."
Dragon ignored me. The big knight held my rag above my head and asked, "Who's the big guy now? Huh, huh?"
When Lady Coll returned to claim her knights for their Memorial Day Feast, she discovered a mostly packed apartment, 3 somewhat tired knights, and 4 bags worth of food, videos, and clothes. As we waved goodbye, we discovered the missing stereo*.
"Kids these days!" I harrumphed.
Dragon just smiled. She was down to 50 feet in length and her toe-nails were quite lovely after the little knight gave her a pedicure.
Countdown to Humanity: 5 days
*Dragon would like you to know that the stereo was a gift. It was a piece of junk but the knight wanted it, so what the hey! How often do you get the chance to make a kid's day?
9 comments:
a good deed done for a knight will come back to you two-fold!
Ack! No postings re: the t-shirts yet!
BTW, the more I read about this dragon the more I think she and I really could be friends. What's not to love about someone who needs peanut butter m&m's to stay on task? I bet she also likes cookie dough ice cream.
At least the knights and the dragon have good taste in throwback video games. Pac-Man (and variants) and Tetris.
Can a fire-breathing dragon enjoy ice cream?
Good question Omar… sounds like an exorcize in frustration to me…
Too late, cats out of the bag on the shirts. I’ve been wearing my AV jogging suit everywhere, I need to mix it up, you know?
A good deed for a young knight! Some kids are so easy to please.
I'm with Jon. I'm going to have to discard the scrubs soon, since I'm quitting in three weeks. I need something to wear that resembles normal clothing.
Help! I think Dragon ate our favorite scribe! Are there no knights available to save our G-Lo?
Does this mean the Pac-King has won? I have to move in a about a month now… The Pac-King and I will have a score to settle. I’m old school though, I don’t use the Sup-Plies… it’s dirty work, but it’s how I get things done.
Although I must admit, I’ve always wanted to be a reluctant hero… I’ve been practicing my tough-guy one-liners. Of course, it’s been two days now without a word. I think the scribe is as good as dead. Then again, maybe scribe won the lottery and quit. Lots of possibilities…
Yeah, I think I'm going through glo withdrawal. Headaches, dry mouth... classic symptoms.
Sorry about that, guys. After some unexpectedly gory battles, I have returned. I hope everyone got an appropriate methadone wean started in [our] absence.
Dragon sends her love, of course. She's almost normal sized now and sprouted some hair - not exactly a pretty picture, but promising nonetheless.
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