As for the rest of you, well, you missed my least appropriate post to date. What did I learn? The cybersex chat line I planned to start will probably not be a reality. My overt is not so well developed as my covert. What else? Well, you guys have very clean minds. I was impressed. I guess I've lost the sexual deviants who once found me by googling 'breasts' or 'frotteurism'.
In an unfortunate turn of events, not only do I not feel like being clever tonight, but I also need to take a 4-day break from Blogland. At work, we had a power outage followed by 2 days without access to the secure server. Everyone was sent home early today while they fixed the server, which means I am 3 days behind in my work. Furthermore, I have company coming this weekend (if I don't get blown off by everyone I've invited to Harry Potter Night) and I've planned to do some major damage on the Tu Tu Tango dance floor Saturday night. Hence, Glo needs to immerse herself in real life for a bit.
So, I leave you with only this thought. First Mel and then a friend at work have told me that you can learn a lot from a woman's purse or man's wallet. I have absolutely no idea what I would be looking for, so I would appreciate some insight.
You may use your own wallet/purse as an example or analyze mine, but I really want to know what clues to use in my purusal of purses and wallets. I am relying on y'all here.
My purse contents: iPAQ, free Nokia cell phone, some receipts, a Kinko's card, a movie ticket from X-Men 2, blank notepad with a few random phone numbers, copy of car registration, Church phone directory, wallet (money, club cards for Subway and Hallmark, business cards from college professors and an Amish quilt/candle maker, my CPR certification, and photos of family members), keys on 'Flirt With Me' key chain attached to card wallet w/ 2 forms of ID, assorted lip gloss, 2 lipstick colors, powder compact, color swatches, fold-away brush, camera, spare film, sunglasses, directions to the Pantages theater, tylenol, and portable toilet seat covers.
BTW - will update my links this weekend. I realize there are several new frequent commenters who deserve the recognitions. Sorry it's taken so long.
30 comments:
first: you want a dose of sexual go to http://everythingsuckedtoday.blogspot.com/
it's really gross but really funny at the same time. or rather, it has gross parts AND funny parts. teh gross parts aren't really all that funny
second: that's one big purse, that's about all i can say about that.
third: i have 8 lipglosses, band-aids, a change purse, wallet, advil, and tons of receipts/tissues/trash in mine. not sure what that says about me either. besides the fact i like lipgloss.
wow, Tu Tu? that's just screaming for a post to be written about it.
i don't like carrying purses; i went nearly 22 years without one. but alas, i'm saddled with essentials like keys and phone.
mine has:
phone, hands-free set (it's the law!), chapstick, a pen, business cards from the old place, emergency *lady items*, keys complete with pepperspray (for the dungeon) and wallet. the wallet is its own beast, bulging with receipts and movie stubs from the entire past year.
Still online for last night, so will ask: What does it mean? Why is it an insight to our very natures? How should I use this tool?
Please, someone! Illuminate! So far, we all just look normal and prepared but in need of a straightening.
Oh, and the purse isn't that big. Running joke is that it's a more stylish version of Mary Poppin's bag. I find it amazing that I can find everything crammed into it without needing to empty the darn thing.
Since I helped to start this whole thing with the purses/wallets, I'll analyze. So seperating what little I know about you from you and just looking at your purse contents as a stranger, I will analyze what I would think would be your personality based on purse contents.
Church directory--you're religious. Possibly in a weird way, since this is in your purse. Anyone a person calls regularly should be in the cellphone. The directory says you call people at church for church--not social--related reasons. Which may be good or may be freaky.
Assorted make-up/brush/seat covers--you're high maintenence and fussy. You need to be pretty all the time, expecially judging the fact that you have 4 lip items, and you also are fussy about toilets and can't just wipe it off like everyone else. You are probably a squatter if you realize you are out of seat covers.
Notepad/tylenol/directions/car registration/2 forms of id/cpr certification/camera/roll of film--you are practical and anticipate things in advance. You've prepared with these items for various situations in which these items may be useful.
free cellphone/club cards/kinko's card--you're cheap (or frugal, depending on your mindset...). you probably cut coupons out for like 12 cents off a $50 purchase and make sure to scour for deals whenever you can. You rarely buy full price.
professr's cards/amish card--you're just weird. who has this stuff? and why?
flirt with me keychain--you're cheesy. and more than a bit on the girly side.
xmen 2 stub/receipts--not too much to gain from this. the receipts maybe, if they were to curious stores, like Sex World or An Emu for You. but run of the mill, nothing too special.
also, you have a huge purse, i'm going to guess, based on the sheer number of contents.
my purse contains:
1. my planner (it's got a kitty on it and LOTS of writing in it)
2. my checkbook
3. my wallet (contains old fortune cookie fortunes, some various business cards to hair places, my work, etc., some receipts, a target credit card, a bingo club card, my pharmacy technician liscence, my U of M ID, and some cash)
4. my keys, with a Ralph Wiggum keychain
5. a pen
6. sunglasses
7.nail clipper
8. bobby pins/ponytail holder
9. chapstick
10. cell phone
You're close, Mel. The directory is in there because I had an intense calling that required me to call people constantly, but I didn't want to clutter my phone with contacts that kept changing (i.e. the secretary of the Primary changed 3 times). The seat covers were a joke from my brother because I tell so many disgusting "life in the 3rd world" stories. And, while I acknowledge the business cards are weird, the professors write letters for me and are my references for jobs/grad school and the quiltmaker will someday, if I ever get some cash, handmake me a wedding rings quilt for a really great price (the cheap thing was dead on) - so I like to send a postcard every so often to stay in touch.
As for you, can anyone with a kitty day planner really call my key chain 'cheesy' and 'girly'?
My first interpretation: no book? she doesn't commute. But I know this to be false, so clearly the "you can tell a lot" line is at best misleading. Also, I go with the girly and high maintenance; but not high maintenance enough to clean out the purse regularly. Seriously, X-Men 2? How long ago was that movie experience?
And it's pretty unusual to carry a camera and roll of film every day. Most people who want to snap on a whim have cameraphones or digital cameras. So my interpretation would depend greatly on the type of camera... a classic photo geek? Too cheap to update? too technophobic to update?
Also, keeping the Amish card I understand, but carrying it every day? Odd.
My wallet contents are pretty standard. I've got a bunch of ID/credit/membership cards and a few pictures of the boy. Plus a handful of business cards. (No money. I almost never carry money with me.)
Little known fact that I actually have an associates degree in Purse Content Analysis. Unlike some others, I don't frown on the camera/film in the purse, given that your purse does not endure long high-temperature situations. I hate cell phone cameras and keeping a digital camera in the purse makes the purse contents more valuable than they need to be. The rule of thumb among PCA majors is to always try to minimize the dollar value of the contents of your purse.
The glaring omission from your list of purse contents is a pen. I would normally cut you some slack since you have an iPAQ, but I have doubts about the extent to which you use it. Nothing personal.
Note to self - create omarphillips.net lip gloss. In assorted flavors.
Omar - thanks for commenting. I was worried about being the first and/or only male on this one.
And G.Lo - since you won't do anything with this for - what, four days? and this comment will be buried or forgotten by then, I'll leave you with a couple teasers.
1. When I was younger and less self-conscious - no. Forget that one.
2. I haul a medium-sized backpack to and from work and (sometimes) other destinations. What's inside? Hmm! Way more possibilities than a wallet, to say the least. Lots and lots of stuff.
Maybe I'll post the list on RaJ today or tomorrow...
Wait a minute. FOUR DAYS?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh yeah, I didn't comment on the 4 day absence. My official opinion is "That sucks."
The Tu Tu Tango dance floor doesn't stand a chance.
no, the kitty planner falls under the cheap/frugal category--it CLEARLY says $1 on the back. It was in the dollar spot at target. and they only come in kitties...
and besides, i wasn't calling you cheesy and girly...i was calling your purse contents as such. :)
Contents of Cate’s purse:
cell phone
2 kleenex, neatly folded
4 yellow post-it notes to self
keychain - mini police baton, slinky, car key, house keys, work key
bottles - small sandalwood rose lotion, neutrogena hand cream, Tums Smooth Dissolve, anti-bacterial hand gel
pen & pencil
checkbook
printed copy of yesterday’s tv producer silliness with G.Lo
small notebook w/ van Gogh cover
wallet - $25 cash & change, drivers license, ATM card, 2 library cards, blockbuster card, health insurance card, Java Hut punch card, grocery store savings card, bank deposit receipt
makeup bag - compact, powder brush, moisturizer, 2 lip gloss, eye shadow, concealer, lip pencil
miscellaneous bag - foldout hair brush, pocket knife, bandaids, ibuprofen, sudafed, tic-tacs, VickiMints, Altoids gum, nail file & clippers, bobby pins
What this all says about me, I'm not sure I want to know.
Jazz: A girl can NEVER have too many lipglosses. I believe I have 5 in my little makeup bag.
The contents of my bag:
makeup bag: mascara, 5 lipglosses, 3 lipsticks, concealer, cream blush, tampons, and oil absorbing sheets
compact: powder and brush
cell phone
keys
sunglasses
clear nail polis
(gel) pen
lint roller
umbrella
wallet
lotion
day planner
more lotion (!?)
hair clip
nail file
hand sanitizer
highlighter
program from conference in May (?)
Marie Claire
2 issues of Diversity Inc.
business card from new tanning salon
Ok, I was going to restrain myself, but I feel someone has to raise A voice of sanity. NOBODY needs that much make-up, people. My handbag:
Umbrella*
Sunglasses*
Book
Wallet (with way too many cards and usually a bunch of receipts I haven't got round to sorting out)
Pocket diary, largely unused
Small notepad and pen, ditto
Small pink pouch** with the following contingency items: *lady items* (nice, Cadiz); teeny-tiny folding scissors; aspirin; matches; plasters; soap leaves; mini emery boards and folding mirror
House key on Playboy keychain (hey, I like it, ok?)
2 x Lip balm - one pink, one gold
Pocket pack of tissues
Cellphone
More matches. Hadn't realised that.
Travel card
Three lucky pennies as found on street.
Ok, that's a fair bit more crud than I'd imagined, but in my defence most of it is neatly packed into pockets. I carry a Tidy handbag.
_____
* Some might say you don't need to carry both these items on the same day. I say such people obviously don't live in London. Or, for that matter, Cape Town.
** Most of the things in here are never used but strike me as too handy to ditch.
Following Omar's lead (and the post's "instructions") here's What's In My Wallet?
Auto insurance ID
Voter ID
List of SSNs
Bookstore Buy X get 1 free card
Health insurance IDs (3)
ATM card
Library card
License To Drive
Credit cards (2)
Wallet is small, ultra-thin. Who needs more when there's a backpack around it?
:->
(Sample backpack item: 1 kite)
Somebody thinks we are high maintenance ladies. Perhaps . . . . :)
quick! everyone steal jam's wallet! he's got a lost of SSNs and then we can steal identities!
is the key chain necessary? do people even notice what's on a key chain unless it has a bottle opener on it.
Sorry Glo, I deleted my last one 'cause it was waaay too long (I carry a bag around) so I'm going to post it on my blog instead of using up room on yours.
:)
I don't really own shoulders so I try to avoid purses and keep what I need in my pockets. Also know as the more pockets - the more stuff I have with me. I alwyas have my chapstick, my house keys on a bayer aspirin keychain, and my bank card/money. During the day I have shades and I carry pepper spray because I am a girl who walks a lot, alone, at night, in the dark.
What your purse says about you G-Lo. You have a medium sized purse. I have no idea what an Ipaq is but I gather it's good. You have nothing to write with but you have paper so you are used to taking the pen and giving the number. Confident and take charge.
You are prepared for many occassions but hate to narrow your options so you have lots of lipwear options. You like to earn things and feel like a memeber (club cards). You don't have kids or spend much time with them. You like talking (phone, phone numbers). You're not worried about bad breath but plan for possible pain (tylenol). You are a travelling super model or photographer's assistant (film, shades, makeup, toilet covers) he hehehehehe.
Amber - "(doesn't) really own shoulders." Hah! Very good! Some day I might feel the need to toss that out in conversation. I'll be sure to remember where I saw it.
It would make a nice catch-phrase for your blogging persona, like in hover-text for a link: Amber (try it).
Thanks. I needed something to smile about this morning after an unusually irritating commute.
Signing on only because I am so bored at work that I may lose my mind and I had to get here too damn early anyway.
I am starting to see the value of this game as a conversation piece. As most of our contents require some explanation - for example, most everyone has failed to see the irony in my keychain. Probably because you don't know the backstory...I feel a blog coming on...
Anyway, you guys are hilarious. Please continue. And I ask a follow-up question (because I'm an amazing amateur reporter) - what items indicate *totally awesome* and/or *cool* status? What should we stock in our purses/wallets to prove our intrinsic worth?
Remember, as with everything on this site, this is for science.
rainpuddles - That is the biggest sounding tiny purse I've ever read the contents of. That means you're resourceful.
regarding the Pepto, I too have trusty Pepto on me at all times.
10 bobby pins - You're either very concerned with your hair, or you are some sort of secret agent or thief who picks a lot of locks. Going with the secret agent theme, that would also explain the DQ straw wrapper, which you didn't throw out because it could potentially be used as part of some secret agent doohickey.
Based on the two different kinds of Advil and the tissue with lotion, I'd guess you are very particular about things. Which, again fits the secret agent mold (shaken, not stirred).
The short of it is that I think you're a secret agent, and sorry if I blew your cover.
Ooooo, a secret agent...fascinating!
I posted what I have in my bag, purse, and lunchbox on my blog...and discovered that I'm really a very boring person. Of course, considering how crazy my life has been this week...boring sounds good.
And I have all of you guys to keep life interesting...which rocks!
I think to earn totally cool status you need to know your audience. In my case it's awarded by someone having car keys to an actual working/insured car that they are willing to drive me about in. I'm simple that way :)
Glad I could make you laugh rj & glo :)
I'm totally with Demo on the helicopter's licence. As for MI6, I don't really think they give membership cards. I think the really cool stuff is more hidden, and consists of the names stored in your phone and/or the messages they have left for you. It's not what you have, it's who you have, right?
There have been times when I carried what I considered to be exceptionally cool items, but I doubt anyone ever shared my estimation of them. My favourite was an antique tooled leather matchbox. I've never actually smoked, by the way, I just like matches and especially matchboxes.
I think the coolest impression I get from a bag is when it's really small (but not stupid looking) and light, contains no scruffy tissues or dogeared notebooks, and the owner is never seen carrying any extra bags. Organised, in control, and unburdened. Beautiful. Conversely, the least cool is people carrying multiple bags on a regular basis. You don't need to know what's in them, you can already see they cannot prioritise.
Wallet, checkbook, keys, cellphone, sunglasses, datebook, 3 pens, mini-flashlight, butterfly knife (very sharp, heh,heh), sample size bottle of hand sanitizer, life savers roll with 2 missing, Carmex, sample pack of aspirin
Gee, I just realized the combo of butterfly knife, flashlight and hand sanitizer could be pretty incriminating...
4 days??!! come back soon.
hmm, purse contents. that's one mighty deep purse. colour swatches? that's the only thing that stuck out for me. maybe its because I'm awake at 3 a.m. I have no idea how to analyse any of those. but I am intrigued by the amish quilt/candle maker. x men 2 was a cool movie. loved shawn ashmore.
my purse:
student id, money, card for friday's and body shop, sticker pics, coins, redeemable cards for san francisco coffee and coffee bean. coupla business cards.
Thanks to demosthenes, I have completely updated my purse. I am now so insanely cool that people are camping outside my front door for the possibility of seeing me as I leave for work. Wow. This post was sure useful.
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