He Ain't the King for Nothing...blog review Sunday

I've been intending to do this forever...but a past creative differences meant it went from being funny to just plain...me.


So, on to the event. In order to keep me organized for the only post people read here (*ahem* Blog gods *ahem*), I've decided to review blogs on Sundays. Here goes:


So true I had to laugh moment


Omar got a receipt. Omar got many receipts that were not receipts. Omar needed an organizer to keep track of receipt. Omar read War in Peace in less time than it took to print receipts. Omar realized that to be environmentally sound is NOT to shop at Sears....I may have extrapolated some of that....so for the completely witty and wonderful post about the new trend in receipts, see Omar's post "Thank you for Shopping at Sears."

Finally! A version of geography I can actually recall...

Syar is moving out, moving on, and moving towards geographical history.

"Melbourne is now Syarbourne, and Australia is now Syarstralia. Come February 16th, it will become the hub of all things awesome and Syar. Booyashaka!"

A hearty congratulations to both Syar and the globe for their good choices and big changes!

Oh drat! Someone has finally figured out how slow science can be...

From RaJ: "Next, in unrelated news brought to my attention by blog feiend Evilducky77, researchers studying how to improve the decor of childrens’ hospital wards made a shocking discovery. These researchers learned - you know, you might want to sit down for this one, it’s really stunning - children don’t like clowns! According to senior University of Sheffield lecturer Pennywise Penny Curtis, “We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.” Can you believe it?!"

Nope. We can't. We don't. We WON'T. I live in the hospital Ronald built. We can't accept it. Sorry. The name on our checks insists that kids like clowns. And saturated fat.

How to multi-task while you undertask

From Scroob: "for 2008 I am subdividing my main goal ("Get My Shit Together") into smaller goals. ("Get My Shit Together Just a Little Bit", "Get My Shit Together a Bit More", "Get My Shit Together I Really Mean It This Time" and so on. Thanks for that, k. Very helpful.) As it happens, the result looks surprisingly like traditional resolutions: Get Healthy. Manage Stress. Do More Stuff."

Hee hee. Those are my kind of goals.

Today's "yeah, me too" tidbit

"too many things happening i don't even know where to start... but i know that i really need an assistant and a maid desperately right now" -- ka

Congratulations to...

Julia - for a love story in the happy middle...may it grow and become more beautiful each day.

Best comment on pop culture

From Painting Chef - "Dear Verizon Broadband…
I adore you. Now I can once again sit on my bed and keep track of which Spears daughter is flying her crazy flag today. I’ve felt quite out of the loop. Did you know Amy Winehouse cut off all her hair and went blonde? And apparently Nicole Richie is incubating something other than a human because she has been pregnant for like thirty seven months at this point. And let’s not even talk about Pamela Anderson supposedly being knocked up because somehow, Verizon Broadband, I don’t think you care.

Great Quote of the Week

Benjamin Disraeli
"The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps."

How I feel about Work Today

Fantastic Reappearance of an old literary standard

Saving Private Demosthenes returned! I made my usual semi-triumphant entrance mid-story:

"After several long, drawn-out seconds, the thing got to its knees and shook the soot from its body. There sat General Glo. The team erupted in euleulations and ran towards her charred frame before stopping horror. Under Glo’s arm was a leg.“Omar?” ventured Private Jedith.Glo nodded."

I am so utterly cool in camo.

The government does something good for us all

"Eat pie. Whether you make it yourself, buy it at a supermarket or bakery or order it at a restaurant, perform a random act of pieness on yourself and enjoy some pie on National Pie Day – it’s great with lunch, dinner or as a late-night snack.”–The National Pie Council"

As quoted by Compulsive Writer

And then it did something bad for us all

Thanks to jazz for summing up how I feel about politics right now:
"on politics: i think hill and bill are playing quite dirty. it's not fun to see bill getting in there and being nasty when he used to be the guy that united people. i'd like to see obama rise above it, but as we've seen with the john kerry mess, that is not an option. it's all making me hope edwards starts pulling more support. it's all making me cranky. "

Shame. Shame on you all for fighting like children.

And now for an update on ME

It's my birthday this week, so for all you bloggers in the Salt Lake City area - you are welcome to come to my day of celebration this Friday. However, you have to be brave enough to email in order to know the details. You can find me at literarychicks@gmail.com . So, feel free to stop on by - there are only 4 simple rules: 1) Have fun. 2) Be you. 3) Let me be me. 4) Respect the no-persuasion zone - none of us is there to change our minds, attitudes, life goals, food choices, or religion. Let's show the candidates how grown-ups behave.

So, I'm off to turn 31 and hopefully recharge among people who think I'm just fine the way I am and choose to be. Have a good week - can't wait to see what you blog while I'm away...

The Blog Gods Are In The Auditorium

*Oh dreadful Internet piracy! The awards have aired before they aired! Have you people no decency?! I'll have you know that not a single person stood to profit from airing the blog Gods at their pre-scheduled time, but now look - you've gone and ruined it. I suppose all I can say is: On with the SHOW!!*

The 3rd Annual Blog Envy Awards

Brought to You by the Makers of Blogs Everywhere

Your Thoughts. Made Global.

Blog Happy.

Voiceover: Good evening and welcome to the Blog Envy Awards. Tonight's young and hip presenters were all arrested for drunk driving on the way to the awards show, so we bring you the classier and hotter (if you've seen White Palace) James Spader and the lovely Emily Blunt - who happened to be sitting next to him.

Emily: James, you're not an obvious choice for this ongoing celebrity crush. Aren't you....well, possibly not...I mean...are you here with....a he or a she?

James: And I'm here with my lovely mother. Glo is entranced by men with superior intellect and ambiguous sexuality.

Emily: Oh. She's bound to live a disappointing life.

James: Truly. Shall we.... (large noise interrupts)

and about 100 other young, nubile stars fall down the stage. Two vomit. Police surround them and clap on handcuffs.

Paris: ohhhhh.....that's hot.

Lindsay: No. That's crass. Crass is in now. Hot is so....uhhhh. And by now everyone's done handcuffs so that's not even interesting, you backstabbing frenemy!

Paris: That's hot. Giving back is hot. I'm practicing charity. Can you see my charity?

Lindsay (mutters): Doesn't smell like charity on my designer gown.

Police guy: You know, ladies. I've got a hot tub.

Emily: Oh, disgusting. You Americans have no class. Truly.

James: Yes, this particular generation of celebrities has brought a new low to American insensibility. And yet we wonder why other nations take exception to our politically motivated....

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP

Voiceover: The Annual Blog Envy Awards brought to you by Crest. A new whiteness for a new you.

Emily: Well, James had to take leave. He begs your forgiveness. I suppose that means we ought to get on with the awards, eh? I know that I, for one, would like to know who it is that made blogging worthwhile in the past year. And now I must call my agent to the carpet over publicity stunts whilst all of you go cheerily on to congratulate yourselves...

Blog Design Awards:

Best Blog Entry Point: Leonie

Best Blog Tagline: Painting Chef
"Painting Chef - Cheaper Than Therapy"

Runner-Up: Lia -- "Because Life is not Trademarked."

Honorable Mention: Leonie -- "The Turquoise Journey of Leonie Allen"

Best threat to spammers everywhere: RaJ

The "Oh my Gosh! I Love Your Template So Much I Forgot to read the Post About Your Great Siblings and Fun Trip" award: Jules

Best use of some crap called mysquiggle or other web-design nonsense: Omar

The "I Can Actually Smell The Fresh Air and Sunshine" blog design award: Sarcomical

Best Profile Image Award: Stella

Most likely to have Blog Design ADD: Lianne

Template Most Likely to Carry Someone to a Higher Spiritual Plane: Dancing Mermaid

Best use of quotes: RaJ

"He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armour. It was gilt by association. -- (Terry Pratchett, Night Watch)

Best overall blog design: That one Lianne had about 14 designs ago with the flowers. I liked that one. But now it's gone.

Congratulations, Lianne! You are also the winner of this year's Most Blog Design Overall Award for your work not only on your blog but at least 34% of all blogs in existence! These awards were presented earlier over a frozen meal. I played music and gave your awards speech. It was lovely. Thanks for playing!

The Most Geek-Happen'ist Place on the Internet: Tayster

Best masthead: (tie) Cate and Omar

Best sidebar: Cate

Congratulations, Cate! You are also the winner of this year's Most Amusing Blog Design Overall Award! These awards were presented earlier over a frozen meal. I played music and gave your awards speech. It was lovely. Thanks for playing!

Best use of photos in overall design: Bohemian Girl

Best photo: Jules for this amazing creation. Entrancing, simply entrancing.

You Made Me Laugh Awards:

Big, Bad, Evil Spider Award: RaJ

"Do spiders sweat? You’d think this one would be hot, considering the heavy fur coat it wore. In the sweltering Florida summer heat…Sorry. Where was I? Right, giant spider, baby’s room, call for help. Except I was kind of, you know. Sleeping." -- RaJ

Least Likely to Meet Someone While Reading: Syar

Least Likely to become a River Guide: Jules

Best use of a crude noise to make a point: Andy for his response to MTV's idea of quality programming

Best use of posts so long I've never actually read one: Chris (who I don't know and thus cannot hyperlink but the Blog God Awards Committee assures me the posts are dreadfully long)

Most Likely To Be On Any Google Search List: Sarcomical
"And my personal favorite:"The eagle has landed, the eggs are in the nest"HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I bet you were very disappointed to find this instead of something more relevant. Sorry." -- Sarcomical

Best piece of captured conversation plus a really important implied fashion tip: Dan, as quoted by Nadia

"Dan: "I'm want to yawn but I'm scared.

Syar: "You're afraid to yawn? Why?"

Dan: "When I yawn my pants fall down." Duly noted, Dan. Duly noted.

Vanity Awards

Best use of undisclosed RLI as a blog-suicide method: Glo (please don't tell me you need a hyperlink for this one...*feeling lightheaded*)

Yeah, I've Been There, Sista Award for Blogger Who Feels About Mondays as I Do: Stella
"In any case, my life just FEELS frustrating, I FEEL really frustrated with things...There is more to the story, however, I must go and dress and dry hair and prepare for the Monday ahead. I pray for a sense of calm and I hope that all is well for you. I"m sure things will be fine, but I have a lot of stuff I have to figure out how to handle...." -- Stella



Most likely to remind me of someone I know and love: Syar


Most likely to remind me of myself: Nadia
"It is. I feel much better now that I've stopped expecting myself to be pretty constantly. It's very liberating." -- Nadia

Most Likely to Pull a Post Before I Think Up a Comment: Nadia

I'm So Glad We Re-Connected Award: (tie) Charith and iluv2sing



Most likely to send me a cool gift from foreign lands that always makes me smile: (tie) Syar and Nadia

Most likely to head up an attempt to unite the fictional and nonfictional worlds of bloggers around the globe: RaJ


Most likely to go the extra mile for me and not ask anything in return: Lianne

Most likely to think I'm awesome even when I'm not being awesome: iluv2sing, Charith, and Cate (because they know who I am 99% of the time)


Most likely to forgive me for the lame-o stuff I do: Cate

Most likely to be thanked if I ever win a major award: Cate (and she knows why)


Most likely to be the reason my music collection is less embarrassing: Cate


Most likely to be a major reason for a sudden attack of insecurity and/or envy (a.k.a. The Take in Small Doses Award and Do Not Operate Machinery or Drive a Car for at least Two Hours After Reading): (tie)Chef and Scroob and BohemianGirl


The "I don't care how much it costs, if I ever figure out how the hell to be in love, stay in love, and actually get married, YOU'RE GONNA BE MY PHOTOGRAPHER" Award: Bohemian Girl


The "Yeah, I Get This" Award: Dancing Mermaid
"i also started getting overwhelmed with advice on how to get better and i felt way too exposed, and for the first time in my life i became guarded." -- Dancing Mermaid



Post that most reminded me of Ron Weasley: Dooce
"I just got a phone call from a friend, and when she told me she was calling from Switzerland, I could feel myself starting to talk louder and louder until I was screaming, just in case she couldn’t hear me all the way over there." -- Dooce



Make me WOW.... Awards

Most Unwavering Commitment to Making People Appreciate How Good They've Really Got It: Cadiz

Most honest and gut-wrenching moment of real life getting emotionally messy: Cadiz
"If a spoiled princess like me had trouble relinquishing the spotlight a couple of times, I can’t imagine how terrible it is for people who are overlooked more often. Sure, they shrug it off as it's-okay-no-big-deal-don't-worry-about-it (always so agreeable, aren't they?) and never call their loved ones out for forgetting to invite them, or treating them unfairly, or not doing as much for them as they do for others. Perhaps they're content enough with themselves that it really doesn’t bother them. But honestly, I don’t buy one word of that crap. Nobody should feel like they are invisible, unless it's either buildup for a surprise party or else some tabletop canoodling a la Sixteen Candles. No matter how noble the reason, if you make a habit out of taking the back seat, it’s easy to start thinking you belong there." -- Cadiz


The happiest Married Man in the whole USA...well, Japan: Silly_boy_in_Japan
"I am truly blessed! I could write all night long about how wonderful my wife is...how much I love her...but...i've written enough for today."


Most frequent use of the word 'blessed' in any blog post: Silly_boy_in_Japan
"I am blessed ...I am blessed....I am blessed....I am blessed..."


Most Beautiful Prayer Ever Posted on the Internet: Bliss

"I can be trusted with people's hearts -- I will build my fellow man up and not tear them down, I will encourage and inspire and not degrade or ridicule. I have an infinite amount of love to give and the capacity to accept love." -- Bliss

Most dedicated father on the Internet (and most likely to expose his offspring to public spoofing): RaJ



Best Father/Son Moment on the Internet: Omar and The Boy



The cutest dog on the Internet awards: (tie) Rob's dog and Carolyn's dogs


Best Post Ridiculing a HOT guy on a popular TV show: Glo
"Jack: Ah, man....we're only halfway through the season. I'd better go and kill someone. That 45 seconds of humanity really brought down my kill count." -- Glo


Husbands are Lovely Pieces of a Happy Life Awards: (tie) Mr. Bliss and Mr. Chef


Question & Answer Session That Most Captures Personality and Reminds Nadia Somehow of Herself - Jon

Post Most Likely to Result in Upswinging Income for Psychics Everywhere: Schmoopy



Most Impressive Use of Word and Image in a Single Blog Post: Leonie

Best Use of Numbers in a Blog Post: Omar
"1,000,000 - The number of times easier it would have been to compile these stats if I had either stuck with Blogger, or required an email address for commenting all along " -- Omar



The "With a Friend Like This, Who Needs More Friends?" Award: Nina, friend of Leonie

Honorable mention to the Malaysian Ragamuffins

Great Idea Awards:


Best Reason to Do Anything: Jenny

"But truth be told, I was fascinated with this idea. It was sort of like mental cocaine, the idea that maybe, just maybe, I could actually do the things I wanted to do just ‘cuz. No need for any lengthy dissertations or comprehensive oral exams where I had to prove my worthiness. Just. ‘Cuz." -- Jenny


Best Idea for a Friday: Bliss
"share a banana split with your best friend, it's friday." -- Bliss


Gentlest Way to Effect Great Change: All things Lianne, of course


Best Idea for a Non-Threatening Religious Movement - Present Simple
"I will not Google the eye-tic healing powers of chocolate. I will BELIEVE." -- Present Simple


Best Advice that Never Goes Out of Style: Abe Lincoln (by way of Carla Blazek) Blogger Awards


Best winner of LOTS of awards: Omar

Congratulations, Omar! You are also the winner of this year's Always Makes Me Laugh Award! These awards were presented earlier over a frozen meal. I played music and gave your awards speech. It was lovely. Thanks for playing!


Most likely to come up with a link immediately if it means he'll win extra awards: Omar


The Continually Impressive Yet Perpetually Non-Existent Blog: Grendel (not hyperlinked for obvious reasons)


Most Famous Blogger that I Don't Get But Everyone Else Loves: Dooce


Best Proof Ivy League Colleges Are The Death of Blogs - Dem


The "Just Flying By" Award for Random Commenting: Artguy


The Almost-Returned-From-the-Dead Blogger award a.k.a. Most likely to be hailed for his return only to watch him disappear again - Dem

Proof that blogging every day and still having a life IS possible: Cadiz


Most Eagerly Anticipated Annual Return to Blogging by Force/Duty/Coercion - Jon, thanks to NaBloPoMo


Most Loyal Blogger: RaJ

Congratulations, RaJ! You are also the winner of this year's You Made Me Feel Like Blogging Award! These awards were presented earlier over a frozen meal. I played music and gave your awards speech. It was lovely. Thanks for playing!



Most consistently trashy award: X


Blogger With the Best Poker (Type)Face Who Would Pass A Lie Detector Test Even If He Was Saying That the WMDs Really Do Exist - Omar, for his 'Four Truths and A Lie' posts that conitnually leave us all stumped


Most likely to be made into a chicklit move about the power of loving every day (cue music): Present Simple


Most likely to get published one day: LiaCongratulations, Lia! You are also the (unanimous) winner of this year's You Oughta Got an Agent Literary Award! These awards were presented earlier over a frozen meal. I played music and gave your awards speech. It was lovely. Thanks for playing!


Most Regularly Self-And-Life-Examining Blog That Makes You Wish You Were Half As In Tune With Your Thoughts And Feelings - Syar


Most likely to be summarily responsible for the changing social attitudes towards geeks, geekdom, and other completely cool but often marginalized Sci-Fi addicts: RaJ


Most likely to be the subject of the sentence, "Whoa, dude - he did that with Photoshop": Omar





Most Likely to be Featured in a Magazine Titled, The Epitome of Self-Actualization: (tie) Scroob and Lianne and BohemianGirl


Most likely to have her life become the next HBO Chick Show Sensation: Painting Chef


Most likely to be found watching TV: Glo


Best Blogger I've Never Read and can't even locate in order to hyperlink: RR


Awards I'm giving away because HABIT Dictates 70% of all behaviors: Wendela, Katie, Sam, Bluths, Buffalo, and A


Just for the Helluvit Awards: 9 for Omar, 5 for Cate, at least 7 for Lianne, 3 to RaJ, and 9 to Lia because she's just that awesome - oh and what the hell - toss in 2 more for every person who lives in Malaysia or has been there - just because you asked for more awards! Way to campaign, people, way to campaign!


The Big Award:

Lifetime Blog Excellence Award: This year's recipient is Omar Phillips. Feel anticlimactic? Of course it does because it's so obvious. From day one, Omar has thrilled us all with his ability to maintain a funny, pleasant, interesting, and amusing blog day after day after day. He is the ultimate Blog God and this year's winner of our highest award. *

*Award has no cash value. And no mass. But it carries weight. Really. Ask anyone.

Blog God Presentation Awards:

Lianne - for making the whole da** thing possible - she designed the award and the set


Lia - for submitting the most nominations


Syar - for best recommendation of a category (Hint: Dem you owe her for a succinct evaluation of what Ivy League hath done to you)

These individuals will be receiving a special gift basket on behalf of the Awards committee. Without you, this would not have been!



Emily: Well, that was impressive.


James: The sheer volume of errors and misspellings...in breadth alone the grammatical malfeasance was epidemic. The laziness was paramount. Towards the end, it was as though the awards were given to whomever asked for them!



Emily: Oh bloody hell, man, you are hot and insightful. You must help me make highly intelligent, witty and condescending babies for the betterment of society.


James: Thank you, but I'm here with my mother.


Emily: Well, then, there's nothing left to say apart from the very obvious.


James: Of course. *James cues the announcer as the music swells.*


Voiceover: This has been the 3rd Annual Blog Envy Awards brought to you by the makers of Viagra. If a bloated ego doesn't help you, let us try. Viagra. For all your over-the-hill needs.

See You Next Year!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans!

NEXT on Beyond Myself....

You've seen the new look.

....

Now.....THE THIRD ANNUAL BLOG ENVY AWARDS are about to begin!

Make sure you tell your friends all the wonderful things you're likely to win....and tune in after Sunday, 8pm PST to see what you ACTUALLY won....

Don't miss it! You never know when this tradition will join the Miss America pageant as the all-American even you're least likely to remember one day! (Sorry to my sis-in-law who really will miss the Miss America contest).

Announcement and Countdown

Announcing! The 3rd Annual Blog Envy Awards will be held on November 18, 2007 at 8:00 pm PST. Thank you to all who have already submitted some wonderful posts for consideration. It may have been the best year of blogging in which I hardly participated! Well done all!

16 Days

Until the Blog Envy Awards

Prizes! Fun!

(And a good reason to blog happy)

There is still time to submit your nominations

(*ding* Paging one Omar Phillips....I haven't seen him in ages, but I hear he likes to win things. *ding*)

Also announcing....the blogger with the most submissions may just win a bigger prize than all the other prizes. I help those what helps me.....

*hint* Syar *hint* Dem *hint*Cate *hint* Everyone *hint*

The Countdown Begins!

Okay...you asked for it! The countdown to the 3rd Annual Blog God Awards begins!

So, we face a new dilemma. I'm happy to organize the event and even do the final voting but I have been a bit disconnected from blogland this year. So, since you're all so enthused, here's your assigment:

1. Drop comment after comment nominating specific posts or blogs.
2. Someone design a Blog God award
3. Generate some buzz around the Internet

By popular demand! The non-creative versions of common categories!
....Made you awwwww award!
....Made you *sob* award!
....Made you laugh award!
....Made you feel smart award!
....Post most likely to succeed award!
....Most creative blog design award!
....Most die-hard (even thought the fad is fading) blogger award!
....the risen from the dead blogger award!
....Post most likely to be made into a bestselling novel award!
...Post most likely to be made into a trashy movie award!
..."5 reasons" award! (a.k.a. World's best tag award)
....You made me feel like blogging award!
....Best blogger longevity
....Best unknown blogger
....Funniest home page!
...Best use of some crap called mysquiggle or other web-design nonsense!
....and many, many more!

My part:

1. I will read the nominees and select a winner for a long, long, LONG list of categories I will be making up over the next week or so
2. Present the Blog God (as soon as I get sponsorship and a lunch with the right agent of the right celebrity whose image I will steal)

I will also need volunteer(s) to disseminate the winning emails. My goal date for this Award show is November 4th....so let's get cracking!

I wish I had time for a newsy hello and splendid post besides this announcement, but I still have a chapter of Stats to do and a test to complete.

Numbers, numbers everywhere...how probability doth stink!
The problem is, I do foreswear....statistics hath me near the brink!

It's Here! It's Time! You Probably Won!

Welcome to the Second Annual Blog Envy Awards*

Glo enters...

Welcome to today's presentation of the Blog Gods! *pause for mad applause* My co-host, James Spader, will join me as soon as he finishes the opening number - a rousing song and dance number expressing David E. Kelley's frustrations over the unfairness of taxation on gift baskets. After all, what's the use of being a celebrity if you can't get hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of free gifts in addition to a salary millions of dollars beyond the average American?

James enters....with William Shatner....

Very well said, Glo. Though, once again, I remind you that it's likely illegal for you to use my image without permission.

Glo shrugs.

Likely. But you go where my imagination goes.

James grins.

Gladly, my dear. Quite gleefully, actually.

William groans.

But I just get to watch. How's that any fun for me?

Glo blushes.

I really think this portion of the evening should come to a close. And now...we present...

All three speak in unison

The Blog Envy Awards!

**Categories***

Blog Appearance

Best template: Omar
Most frequent template change: Omar
Most template-based on-blog whining: Syar - but just because everyone says it's so
Best sidebar: Radioactive Jam for his Homer quotes
Funniest sidebar: Jon - just plain classic by now
Best drop-down box(es): Cate - because she could and she did
Best pop-up hover thingys: Syar
Best blog description: Lianne - her entry page says it all
Best blog entry point: Radioactive Jam

Blog Content

Best overall blog: Omar - he's a god. Need I say more?
Best overall blog post: Omar for Oval Office Guy Talk
Best humorous post: Omar for The Truth About Root Canal Treatment
Best serial post: Dem - Saving Private Demosthenes has been going strong for a year - incredible!
Most distressing hiatus from posting:(multi-way tie) Jon, Jedith, Mrs. Charlie, Buffalo, Lou, A, girlspit
Best philosophical post: I honestly couldn't choose - philosophy is what bloggers do best
Best political post: Dem for A Comically Ridiculous Conflict - because politics taken seriously and without the potential for offense is just a waste of energy
Best fractured fairy tale: Syar - the muffin girls? Girl - even hungry you rule.
Best post about posting: Lianne for Bla Bla Bla
Most revealing post:(tie) Katie - for being brave enough to hurt and Nadia - for having the courage to be scared
Best HNT post: Jazz, - this shot is a work of art. Honorable mention: Jaimie - for those abs!
Most embarrassing post: Omar for his lack of IT-ness
Most life-changing post: Glo for Lesson the First
Most terrifying post: Radioactive Jam - for the Friday freakout freaky bear - and, yes, I do blame Cate
Gushworthiest post: elasticwaistbandlady - for a post that makes you go ewww and awww at the same time!
Most Bittersweet post: (tie) Cadiz - for bluntly stating why it's wrong to be young and sick and Chef - for trying to make humor assuage great pain
Best kid-based post: Compulsive Writer - for the most creative Birds and the Bees talk in recorded history
"We've Got Cute Kids" award: Sam and Bluths
Best reason to make sure you're feeling grounded before having evil offspring: (tie) Lianne - I love each and every one of 'em - you know that - but whoa! The ride you're on... and elasticwaistbandlady - for her clever way to destroy Miss Manners for the next generation
Post with freakiest freak-out factor: Radioactive Jam - thanks to you, I fear Fridays
Best dating-based post: Glo - now with James T. Kirk!
Best general use of graphic or photo: Wendela (I framed that picture of me and James)
Best use of photoshop: Wendela - for her reveal of Omar in the 'hood, her "MIA" announcement for Carrot Jello, and every other time she loads the program...AWEsome, lady!
Best use of music: Cate - for always having a soundtrack for everything
Most consistently hilarious use of YouTube: Tayster for having a video for everything
Best music-based quiz (a.k.a. Glo got more than 1 right): Cate and Omar - I refuse to choose because I sucked BIGTIME on both quizzes
Best overall quiz: Nadia - for an IQ test never to be forgotten
Best overall artistic challenge/post: Omar - for the photo assignment on idioms

Random Awards Thought Up To Amuse Me

Best use of a countdown: Lianne - viva la France!
Blog most likely to get its own TV show:(tie) Cate - her quirky punctiliorsomething style just begs to be serialized (and slanderized) by HBO and Lia because something about her writing makes me picture her with notebook in hand wearing fashionable clothing...

***We interrupt for our Very Special Presentation***
Glo-attendance Achievement Award: Artguy - for always being there on both blogs and saying something nice - your support is always *much* appreciated
***Raucous Applause Ensues***

Best G.Lo of an inappropriate post: Glo - because no one does it like I do it
Best non-glo G.Lo of an inappropriate post: Omar for the now-defunct 'Unnecessary Censorship' - I was rather impressed by his rapid delete
Best Glo appearance in a post: (tie) Dem because, dammit, I do love muffins and Lianne for uncovering my secret life
Most efficacious use of flattery: Lianne for obtaining a link on Omar's precious site
Most heart-wrenching poetry: (tie) Cate and Syar
Post worth a thousand Oprahs: (tie) Glo - for her ongoing dating series, Nadia - for being everything honest that a teen could be
Post most likely to create international hijinx: Lianne - at long last, French for the common redneck and/or LOST cast member
Best advice a celebrity never took: Cate - yet another letter to my drunken adulterer
Best addition to blog lexicon: Cate - RLI means always having to say I'm sorry
Most distressing experience of RLI:(tie) A's disappearance even if it was for amazingly good reasons and Lia for forgetting to submit her nominations to me
Best grumpy face: Lianne - do you practice that look?
Best use of sarcasm in comments: JohnnyMenace - I told you it was a lock
Best example of keeping your sense of humor when kidnapped by aliens: Lianne. Duh.
Best on-blog event: Omar and Cate for hijacking my blog in order to give me an amazing 29th birthday - you guy and are fantastic and all that other stuff!
Most successful on-blog idea gone global: Scroob for the amazingly cool knitting site!
Best "I'm cool with who I am" on-blog moment: Lianne for actually making an arrow to point to her "bad ass" - I'm still laughing and saying you're the coolest ever...
Best place to go for cool new stuff you've never seen before: Scroob and Tayster
Best use of socks: Radioactive Jam - sorry, Syar, but his had more monkeys
Best place to go if your socks are almost as ugly as Britney's: Go Fug Yourself

*Brought to you by Self-Absorbed, Inc. A proud subsidiary of IAMME, Ultd.
**Categories based entirely on whim, fancy, and other subjective criteria.
***Please remember to record your acceptance speech in the comments. Make it corny, I beg you.