"We'll miss you," the shrieking young women responded. I noticed Dragon being lulled into hysteria by the crescendo.
"No, Dragon! Plug your ears! Don't listen to them!" I was separated from my duty by the Knights of the Bishopric, who were pumping my arm in farewell. Dragon was melting chairs. Her head was tucked under a wing. The Young Women were winning.
The One With A Boyfriend entered. The Young Women bowed to her. She moved over to Dragon with the secret weapon - the farewell card. Dragon succumbed to open sobbing.
"Noooo!" I screamed to no avail. "Dragon, you have to fight. Remember your hopes, your dreams! Think of the future!"
The Young Women inhaled in surprise. The future is incomprehensible to these other-worldly beings. The YW turned toward this new threat. "But we love you! Never forget us," they wailed. I felt pulled in by their entreaty to submit to the "Don't ever change" mentality.
I fought back with the DayPlanner of Life. "No, you beasts! I have responsibilities! I must change."
Through my fierceness, I heard Dragon roar to life. "I have a career!" she shouted.
We high-fived and then rounded on the Young Women. They shrunk under our united front. We escaped to the parking lot having completed the task of returning the Lesson Manual and Church Handbook of Instructions.
We are one step closer to completing our task. Dragon has begun to molt some scales, and I am starting to not hate this job as much.
Countdown to Humanity: 6 days
7 comments:
Hmm… I don’t remember my moves ever being this action packed. I must not be doing it right.
Yeah, when I move, it usually involves more stalling U-Haul trucks than dragons.
I like that you and the dragon high-fived. You crack me up.
So when does your novel come out?
Hee.
Ah. "Don't ever change." The most over-used phrase in yearbooks everywhere.
It's actually an evil curse, not just a euphemism. When you read it, you are immediately sucked back into high school, sprout acne, and fall in love with the coolest guy/girl in school. I am shocked you haven't realized that this is the true evil of the class reunion - the den of Young Women everywhere.
That seals it, then. No way in Hades am I going to my high school reunion. I don't think my skin could handle it.
I'm stockin up on acne cream...but I'm goin! Can't wait to see all the baldin men, chubby gals, and their kids!
So I can feel soo much better about bein single.
Mean, eh?
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