WORLD'S LARGEST DOG

I'm not sure who I think I'm "catching up"...but here goes anyway.

I really don't remember last week for no better reason than it went by that fast. It was Sunday and I was lamenting the lack of attendance at ward choir then it was Wednesday and I was delivering CDs for ward choir and then it was Sunday and I was so fed up that I cancelled ward choir. So, not a week for the record books as far as church service goes.

However, the choir fiasco did lead to one funny event (in my blog-day this would have been a very funny hyperbolic post, but I'm not that clever anymore). I was delivering practice CDs to delinquent choir members (15 of whom live within WALKING DISTANCE of the practice site). The chore wore long and soon it was 10:15 pm. I was sneaking up sidewalks and placing CDs gently on doorsteps. In the midst of one of these attempts, I heard a bark behind me. I turned and saw the WORLD'S LARGEST DOG running at me full speed. I assumed attack position and screamed as loud as my girly lungs would scream. The dog froze. AND THEN IT WHIMPERED! The WORLD'S LARGEST DOG was a co-award winner, it seems, for the prize of WORLD'S WIMPIEST DOG. The dog galloped (not kidding - this dog was HUGE. So huge, I thought it was a grim. Not kidding. I actually thought the word, 'grim' and wondered what my death would entail. It was a very LARGE dog.) back to the teenage child who had the noxious task of taking the dog out for an evening walk.

The boy watched me. I pretended that screaming is a very normal activity. After all, I'm an adult. Adults only do appropriate things, so, therefore, screaming was very natural at 10:15 pm when confronted by the WORLD'S LARGEST DOG. I continued my journey toward's the door. Unfortunately, the stellar choir members in this house had chosen uneven stone to line the walk. My journey to the door resounded across the neighborhood: OUCH! OW! WHOOPS. OOPS. OH MAN! OUCH!

The teenage boy must have somehow controlled his giggling at this point to approach me. "Uhm, lady. You're going to wake my parents and that's bad for me. Can I help you?"

I tossed my hair back. I am a grown up. Whatever I do is perfectly acceptable and no responsible teenage boy can snicker me into feeling differently. I handed him the CD with the instructions to deliver it. He walked over to the doorstep, set it down, and laughed his way back to the pavement without so much as a stubbed toe. I sniffed and held my head high. I am a grownup. Whatever I do is marvelous. In this case - marvelously entertaining.

At 10:45, I was attacked by the WORLD'S LARGEST BEATLE outside another house....and that's when I decided the choir members didn't really deserve practice CDs. After all, 15 live within walking distance and could easily hear the music by attending practice. Hardly worth dying over. I wasn't about to tempt the fates lest the words 'WORLD'S LARGEST POSSUM' enter my realm of experience.

Apart from classic hijinx, life was fairly mundane. Work. Book club. Heat wave. Nothing spectacular. FR and I had a good date on Saturday. We went go-kart and bumper boats racing. I totally schooled a group of pre-adolescent boys who lamented that they got thrown off the go-kart track (for very good reason, I might say, even if I did pull similar tricks more than once to keep FR from gaining the lead or drenching me with a watergun). Then all the guys drenched me good in return for my very responsible lecture. I thought that unfair....and I let them know it by mastering aim of my watergun. After the games, FR and I grabbed In N Out before catching a movie and playing some board games. The day could only have been better if we'd had time for Lazer Tag. (Okay, I would also have preferred if it hadn't been so expensive! I am not an expensive date but when you add the gas money and entrance prices - nearly $100 for the whole day!! Really, not necessary. I send this vibe to the Universe. I am totally cool with dates that don't cost money. And I keep saying so!)

Sunday, I wanted to drive out to Ventura to see FR and that worried me so I stubbornly stayed home and worked on some wondrously exciting surprises! I can't wait to unveil them!