Oh For Want of Dreamless Sleep!

In the pocket tonight....

Emily the Vapid v. Heather the Brainy

AND

Robin the Harpy v. Liz the Tragic

I hate these women. Oh - not personally. I'm sure they are lovely. But their on-screen personae are haunting me. Driving me crazy, really.

Since I'm on high-dose medications to clear out my sinuses (yay me and the neverending sinus infection problem), I sleep a lot. And the "lot sleeping" is non-stop interrupted by these women pleading their romantic causes. I don't care! I don't. Really. I respect my lack of control over TV, especially TV of the mostly-cancelled and/or serial kind. So, why - WHY- are my dreams punctuated by random conversations wherein Emily and Robin annoy me by asking me to switch allegiances?! I am hard-core Jake-Heather and Jason-Liz. I can't explain it. I won't...though, of course, I do, to anyone who will listen...and right now, that seems to be Robin, Emily, Liz and Heather for about 3-6 hours per day.

Last night, I was having a lovely dream about a field of flowers and a warm breeze when BAM! Emily. In the stupid flowered apron. Explaining to me in all her vapidness how I have no respect for her history with Jake.

"Emily," I said not-so-patiently. "I don't care. I like Heather. She's smart and functional. You're not. I liked you with Roger, he just made more sense. Now leave me alone and let me enjoy the delirium-induced sunshine."

Today I took a nap. WHAMMO! Robin. Droning on and on and on in that annoying high-pitched voice about who knows what because I've learned to tune out her strained rhetoric in any medium. I just walked towards Liz, who looked as tragic as ever - even that was a bit annoying when I'm desperately in need of the healing power of sleep. Upon waking, reality was unkind and I was forced to sit through the painfully whiny version of flirtation favored by Robin during my daytime TV hour. Boo. I didn't like Robin and Jason during Round 1 - a second round feels like the Universe is punishing me for obvious sins.

I'm not certain what part of my psyche is expressing an unmet need in these repeated nightmares. I'm generally very set in my opinions, not given to public sway. So, let me remind myself, publically, and, I hope, in full ear of my nightly specters. I am committed.

Heather + Jake

Liz + Jason

I'm not looking for reason. This is real-life-starvation-induced romantic pining and I can't be persuaded, no matter how many nights I hear the pleadings and rationale. I don't care. I've made my choices.

My horoscope today read: This particular astrological time period should come with a mandatory warning label to be worn by the temporary purveyor of said energy until the effects have passed. What might that label read? 'For your own safety, avoid irritating me -- and if you do, hide the scissors.'

So, ladies, beware. I may not be so kind to you tonight. For the love of all decency - it's about time I got a good night's rest.