Fun with a Side of Healing

I have 3 rules for happy dating.

1. Don't plan on it.
2. Don't dream/think about it.
3. Don't analyze it.

The rules for happy dating have completely changed my dating experience. I'm going to write a book about them some day. I have yet to come up with a female dating ill that isn't cured by strict adherence to the simplest of happy-making rules. Dating is just another activity in life - much like going to the grocery store. You make a decision about what you want, go through the process of getting the item, and then analyze if the item filled its purpose. It's quite simple and not worth the drama we girls usually put into it.

But sometimes - you get really lucky. You go on one of those dates that's more like going out for exquisite tiramisu in Florence than picking up frosted donuts at the AM/PM (i.e. both give you a stomach ache, but one comes without the bad taste in your mouth).

I had one of those on Saturday.

The day started messy. I was with one struggling friend 100 miles away from the dating location while another needed me, too. I felt fat, frumpy, boring, and emotionally overexerted. I wanted to cancel.

But the guy had done everything right. Chosen to take me to dinner and a play. Called to confirm 48 hours before the event. Followed-up the night before to make sure I knew appropriate dress, parking, etc etc....really, it was incredible. Who dates correctly, anymore?! I had to reward that kind of behavior by at least showing up, no matter who needed me desperately that night. So, I bought a new outfit, thanked God for hair that held its curl all day, and did my best to patch things up enough that I could turn off the cell phone for the night.

He truly did know how to date. By intermission, we were holding hands and laughing easily. I passed the next hour trying to remember the last time I simply held hands with someone for an entire evening - and remembering what a pleasant time one can have at it.

The play was a very affecting work about a man and his grandparents (Over the River and Through the Woods). As the first of the grandparents died midway through the second act, I felt a tear roll down my nose. I dabbed it quickly, of course. My date released my hand to pull me under his arm for the remainder of the act.

Unbeknownst to him, it was the first time I had cried in front of a man not related to me in over 15 years. And it felt just fine.

The night has ended, so we're back in rule #1 territory. But whether or not I ever see him again, he helped me to find the end of a long, dark tunnel made worse by recent events with KC and the gang, who made me feel foolish, tarnished, and insignificant - worthy only so far as a person needs someone to blame and discard....but not for one night. For one night, I mattered. It felt very good. And I woke up feeling much better than I had in many, many years.

What a difference a good day makes....