*deep breath*
Okay. I got a pimp. I used to call her my friend. But she's really just a pimp. In fact, her name is Pimptastica Trickz (though you may know her as Mrs. Charlie). She's been fixin' my hookups for some time now - and has....prepare yourself all you who have endured the agony of blind dating...never picked a loser!!
Yes. She treat me real good. She tell me, when we're talkin' in hooker language (my nick is Madame Egocentrique, btw), "Honey-baby. You goes where Mama Pimptastica tells you. You treats me boys nice. I takes them from zee uzzer girls jus' for you. You be big hooka one day."And I goes where my pimp tells me. She never go wrong. No not eva!
I'm serious about this. She is 2 great dates for 2 attempts. I just send her socializing little butt out at night and she comes home with more men than she can handle. She gives me a few and I'm a happy 'ho - in that "never had sex at all, not even for money" kind of way.
So, there's the secret. Told with a little snark. And still with happy post-series-of-good-dates glow.*
*For more on the exploits of bloggers with hooker names, please see Lixx Literaria and the tale of the Three Beers Idiot.
7 comments:
Return of the drawings! Woo-hoo! Is it bad if I say that now I want a pimp?
NO! Pimps are the in-thing! if I've got one, everyone'll get one soon!
so when are we gonna hear about the clients?
I desperately need a pimp. I mean I've been single for 18 years now. shouldn't it be time for me to get on with the "ready to mingle" part?
and yay for the return of your wonderful art!
I've been pimping my friends out for years, it's very lucrative. Way to go, Mrs. Charlie.
Shut up, Syar. 20 years and you're complaining about being single? Then again... I'm happy single.
Though your pimp must be something grand, I had to get rid of mine after a few attempts.
More girls should have friends like that. The only friend of mine who's attempted that scores one for two. But one is better than none.
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