Monday, May 01, 2006

Dear Universe

I got on the train this afternoon very tired after seeing way too many kids. I was feeling, for a change, humorless and grouchy. I slunk down in my chair, pulling out the MP3 player and Terry Pratchett novel, Interesting Times (This is the second time I refer this book to you, dear readers.) The Universe was floating right outside my window. I made my pouty face.

"Feeling perky again, Glo. My, my. How the sun pales in comparison to your perma-grin."

I slouched into my teen self. "Nothin' to smile about. Work sucked. Life sucks. You suck."

The Universe bounced along with a shrug. A guy sat in front of me. I gave a polite smile before returning to my book. A page later, I glanced up. The guy was still staring at me with a dopey look in his eyes.

I glared out the window at The Universe. "I hate you."

"This is funny," The Universe giggled. "I bet he's still doing that at the tunnel."

"I hate you," I reiterated.

"Witty, Glo. Every consider blogging?"

"I hate you," I repeated for effect.

At the tunnel, I glanced back. The guy was still smiling. He grew eager when I looked up. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, trying to ignore the now-guffawing Universe.

11 comments:

Bill C said...

First! Ooh, can we ask here? Now? Just in case...

QFTU: Why do guys invariably have that dopey look in their eyes, especially when they're looking at a perceived-available female?

wendela said...

Asking the Universe a question seems sorta scary and I'm not sure I want the answer. Will it be more specific than the magic 8-ball?

omar said...

Could you ask if he/she knows where the remote is for the TV in my bedroom? I understand that may be a misuse of resources, but it's important to me.

Katie said...

I have a question:

Dear Universe,
Did my informative letter get lost in the mail? Because I feel like I've gone through many events that warranted warnings. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't apart of some joke.

Also, dopey guy on bus, hilarious.

Sarah Cate said...

Dear Universe:

What is UP with this whole WRONG Noodle Guy thing? It's quite perturbing, you know - having the wrong guy at my favorite lunch spot flirting with me/nearly admitting to wanting to stalk me. And it seems to me that somehow you must be responsible. So fix it, already, eh?

Bill C said...

Maybe The Universe was out to lunch.

Unknown said...

Hi, I don't have time to read the post right now...maybe later, but thank you for pointing out to me my error of citing initials.

I am really sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my visiting people...well, you saw the post.

Unknown said...

Later is here, I read it now.

Dear Universe...

What is going on with Father Time? He seems to be here when I don't need him and never around when I need him the most*.

And what is up with Kenny Roger's face?

*Like during tests...in the ACT's, I ran out of time on the writing after barely writing a page.

Ron Russon said...

Hey Universe-

I hope you day is going well. I would like my day to go well as well. Well, I have a question, can I become hot like Glo? Of course without the bad part.

Lia said...

42. That's all I can say.

ScroobiousScrivener said...

Dear Universe,

1) What Artguy said. Can I have some hot too please?
2) What are Saturday's winning lotto numbers? According to my horoscope this is the week to take a chance, but something like that is too important to leave to chance, don't you think? Come on. Give me the inside dope.