Discovery: The Universe thought I was hot for a minute. Then I reviewed the list of requirements for “hotness” – long legs, skinny-ass body, massive look of vulnerability coupled with worldly attitude and “do-me-now” pout. I have informed The Universe that I meet none of those requirements. The Universe has apologized for its mistake. Apparently, though, I’m quite a flirt. No one disagrees on that point.
Decision: I pulled my hair all back in a braid and almost attacked it with scissors. I was feeling quite passionate about removing any “hotness” residual from The Univers-al mistake. Lucky for me – Cosmo was sitting by. One minute with that magazine confirmed my lack of hotness. The hair was saved.
New Love: Lazy Saturdays where makeup never touches my face, real clothes stay in the closet, and projects actually get done.
Abandoned Love: Laughter. It is not, as the adage goes, the best medicine. In fact, it can be easily misinterpreted as meaning much more than just “that was funny.” I wish I’d known 6 months ago.
Enduring Love: Long hair. I keep it at a professional length, but I just can’t go short.
Quote of the Week: “If I’m now considered hot, then men need to spend a helluva lot more time reading Cosmo and watching porn. Because I look nothing like those women.”
Cue the Soundtrack to my liberation from The Universe and its missives:
One Girl Revolution by SuperChick
I'll be everything that I want to be. I am confidence in insecurity. I am a voice yet waiting to be heard. I'll shoot the shot bang that you hear round the world.I'm a one girl revolution
Some people see the revolution but most only see the girl. I can lose my hard earned freedom in my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and their stones. I can find my revolution I can learn to stand alone...
7 comments:
Ok then, if I must, I'll go watch some porn.
Surprised By Glo, Lesson 47: learning Superchic(k) song in/on Legally Blonde soundtrack.
And my WV letters? I *so* want this to be a word: welgfzp.
(a little slow on the uptake, as usual)
"Pudgy?"
Cosmo? Really? Why?! I avoid Cosmo (and anything similar) because it tells me I should wear makeup and look like a wind-up toy. And I agree with Mable; if someone misconstrues laughter, then they are the ones who deserve to be hit upside the head. I mean, I laugh all the time and I haven't had...
Oh - right.
I'm late, as usual, but I also noticed the overweight-to-pudgy transition. Sounds like progress! That's really great.
BTW, I love Legally Blonde.
The media makes it hard not to compare ourselves- I know those women may be nice looking in real life or have the right "look" the client wants for a shoot, but Photoshop is used EXTENSIVELY. None of 'em look that good in real life. And it may have taken a hundred shots to get that one on the cover. Behind her, clothes are clipped/cinched to be just right, chest is taped for more cleavage, etc., etc., not to mention lighting, hair and make-up pros right outside the camera range to constantly fix it all. Seen it with my own two eyes, Glo. Do we have all that in real life? Then the magic of Photoshop. You live in L.A.- you know it's the place of underfed women and cosmetic enhancements. I was just reading an article,"From Rubenesque to Twiggy: The Meaning Behind the Waif Aesthetic". Sheesh, I'm waiting for the Rubens ideal to be popular again! Anyway, rejoice in your honest-to-goodness hotness! :) Sorry to run on and on....
Ok, have been seriously studying 'The Zone Diet' for my own personal demons (ie where the crap did I get these thighs?) but now I'm thinking I'll go eat some Easter candy in protest. I never, ever read magazines...I have enough self-esteem issues without the media telling me I don't look good.
I think you made the right choice on the hair...if you cut it, it would be for the wrong reasons...and it would be tragic.
Post a Comment