The following observational study performed using the most severe of scientific methods - the tick mark on a napkin.
In the past 24 hours....
32 guys have done a full-body glance
21 guys have smiled or caught my glance
4 guys have struck up conversation
2 guys have blatantly tried to pick me up
I don't like it. Not one bit. I find myself obsessing over who is hurt by each glance or conversation - which girlfriend/wife/unrequited lover is feeling daggers because the damn Universe forgot to teach these guys who is hot and who is not.
And I want it to stop. Because I don't know how to act. I know this sounds stupid - but I have always been the fat, invisible girl. I never learned what to do in this situation. I feel young and naive and dumb and evil and mean and "popular" and disloyal and....and I want it to stop.
I miss my life. My quiet, invisible, peaceful life. Lucky for me - I have an unforgiving metabolism. My life was simpler 25 pounds ago and it will only take a few more pounds of ice cream and a couple packages of chocolate chip cookies to result in some major gains. Phew. Everything will be back to normal.
So - I leave you with some lyrics from Crazy by A Simple Plan as I fly back east to partake heavily of the conference dessert table. You'll find me somewhere between the Dippin' Dots station and the Yoo-hoo dispenser.
Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me? Can anybody tell me what’s going on? Tell me what’s going on! If you open your eyes, you’ll see that something is wrong!
9 comments:
Hey girl! I wish I could offer advice...but I am the invisible girl. Always have been, always will be...and yep, it works for me.
Guess the Universe figured out that it's not big enough for the two of us; you were the much more obvious choice to enter the realm of hotness.
Fear it. Embrace it.
And allow me to continue wallowing contently in my fat-laden invisibility.
Enjoy your invisibility, ladies. You never know when, suddenly, your actions will have consequences...and those notes from The Universe? Not as much help as you'd expect...
Sometimes it's nice to be noticed. Feel all feminine and flirty. Enjoy it a little.
I can't believe I just wrote that. But really, you can enjoy it. It's normal and healthy. If you want, you can look feminine and send strong "keep-away" vibes. But you don't really want invisibility; you want respect. Respect for yourself, not just your body.
I am confused... are you going out of your way to gather up these boys? Are your firneds jealous? Cause if so, then I'd say that you need to sit down and have a nice long talk with the ladies sending daggers. The idea that they're blocking your fun... well, it doesn't seem like something friends would do.
And if it is their boys doing the flirting, maybe they need to have a talk with them.
And by firneds, I of course mean little animals killed for their scrumddidlyumptious coats. Not friends, what do they have to do with anything in this post?
figoqxz
That's all I have to say :)
I'm with Dem on the whole quoting-Simple-Plan issue. Yes, tis an issue now.
the invisibility may be convenient and comfortable to crawl back to once you've had the taste of being seen, but hey, at least you had the option.
I say own the hotness. leery icky guys are always going to be around regardless and besides, you're Glo. there's a certain level of Glo-ness you have to maintain. you simply CAN't be unattractive or un-hot.*
*its probably not even about your looks. why do you think we all love you so much despite only having a red-haired Microsoft Paint representative to relate you to?
It's a weird thing when it starts to happen, but you will notice more when it's not happening. Enjoy it, you earned it.
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