*Phone Rings*
Guy #1: "Hey there! Want to go out on Friday?"
Me: "No, I am getting ready to move. I don't have time to go out."
Guy #1: "How about Saturday?"
Me: "No, I am getting ready to move. I don't have time to go out."
*Click*
*Phone Rings*
Guy #2: "Hey! We're having a party. Want to come over?"
Me: "No, I am getting ready to move. I don't have time to go out."
Guy #2: "Want to catch a matinee tomorrow, then?"
Me: "No, I am getting ready to move. I don't have time to go out."
*Click*
*Phone Rings*
Unknown Guy: "Hey!"
*Click*
Want my attention? Bring take-out, pack a box, set up the moving van, get my oil changed, take the cats to the vet, cancel the utilities, or clean the patio. Until such a time as all that is completed, I am officially closed for dating.
About this time last year, I broke up with my semi-boyfriend. I was making dinner (of course) and he was watching TV in my living room. I looked at him and realized that my life was not one bit better for having him in it. He was thrilled with our relationship: I listened to him, supported him, cared for him, watched over him, took him cool places and made him laugh. He offered me only the idea that I was somehow worth more now that I was attached. Too bad for him that my self-identity was not tied up in the need for a boyfriend. I turned off the stove and broke up with him. I missed him about as long as it took him to get to his car.
I think it's the plague of a successful woman, this lack of 'neediness.' I take care of me very well. Sure, there are lots of things I would LOVE a guy to do for me, but it doesn't seem to be what's offered. It drove my ex crazy that I could have just as much fun without him as with him. He would fume if I went to a movie or the theater alone, and the fact that I would eat out without a partner merited at least a day of the silent treatment.
When I meet the right guy, he will walk into my life and DO something for me. He can wait until I ask (I don't expect mind reading), but then he'll actually make my life easier in some small way. Fun is great - but I am always having fun. Just once, I'd like someone to do the dishes. That's the kind of thing that would make my heart melt a little.
11 comments:
Yes, isn't it fun to be regarded as a freak of nature because you go to movies by yourself on a regular basis? "So sorry. Was tired of waiting around for your tired ass to accompany me."
As always, the perfect accompanying comment. I may even steal that line from you sometime...There was something truly wrong with our upbringing that we didn't become completely inhibited and homebound if not surrounded by friends. Yet another thing to blame on our ancestors, I suppose. Darn those independent genes!
I decided that "semi-boyfriend" meant that he was a truck driver and that night he was watching a tractor pull in his overalls without a shirt on… how far off am I? I’d like to be a psychic detective some day.
I’d help you move, but that would be in direct violation of the restraining order I filed (which by the way, I recently lowered from 100 yards to 25 yards, so don’t say I never did anything for you).
there was a segment on the news the other day about a company called, "boyfrend for hire" it's a group of guys that fixes things around the house, or just does anything handy-man like you'd want a guy to do. am sure they'd help you pack...
Amen, sister. This weekend, my husband told me he'd have to teach me how to mow the lawn in case he dies. I laughed because, you know, I have mowed the lawn before.
It was sweet, though. He wants to take care of my lawn from the grave. But seriously, he knows what matters.
*Phone Rings*
Guy #1: "Hey there! Can I take your cats to the vet for you?"
Glo: "Huh?"
Guy #1: "How about your patio, could I clean it for you?"
It's not as romantic-sounding. It almost sounds like a stalker. A responsible stalker.
--
"Boyfriend for hire," I could see that getting easily misinterpreted.
GC - Look, I'm a pretty decent guy. I do the laundry. I pick up the house. I (sometimes) clean the kitchen. On days when my wife is exhausted I cook. I'm not the kind of guy that expects something for nothing.
But your post begs of me to ask the question: What does the guy get in return?
Do you want a handyman or a boyfriend? Now, I'm not bagging on you for ditching the guy a year ago. But a healthy relationship doesn't necessarily mean that your guy is going to do everything you want him to.
I'm a good guy, and I've been told I'm a "good catch." But I'm far from perfect. Very far.
Just some thoughts from the Soda Fountain...
Think I'm leaning towards handyman, J - or at least someone who gets that I say what I mean. I am, in general, an awesome girlfriend, which is why my exes refuse to leave, I guess: I take care of myself, I listen, I love most everything including sports on TV/fishing/hiking/dirty jokes, I am rarely in a sad or even negative mood, and I need next to nothing. Sometimes, though, that means I get next to nothing. Guys in my life tend to assume that I always have everything under control.
Anyway, it was a rant, see part two. Guys are great, nothing to debate. You are all great catches, no offense intended. I was pissed. It happens occasionally, then I learn my lesson and feel guilty for a week or two. It's a pattern that works for me.
My sis found a great guy...I keep hopin!
But yay to you for being such tough stuff. Mr. Someday will love ya all the more for it.
Rock on!
You're supposed to get something. And you're supposed to give something. Is how it works. Going from the "I was at the stove, he was watching TV" line, I'd say it was pretty clear that he *was* getting something. Is J missing something?
Though there is no guarantee that even the best boyfriend will be able to help with moving. When I first moved in with Beloved, I invited him and my bestest friend to come over for a Help Me Move party. My mistake was in providing gin. Result: Best Friend ended up painting glitter on Beloved's fingernails (go figure) in the kitchen all evening. Still, it was nice to have the company.
We'll be with you in spirit, then.
Ha, ha. Thanks for lowering my expectations, Scroob.
I was telling my mom last night about all my frustrations - relying on the Elder's Quorum for moving assistance, offending my blog readership, losing my credit cards (don't ask. bad moment), etc. Part of my story included the frustrations in this post and another incident where I attempted to explain to the guys at church exactly what was needed to make the move happen - the guys just glazed over and walked away in the middle of my sentence.
My mom laughed at me and reminded me of the many lessons she and all my married friends know. She told me to attempt the conversation the morning of the move and I would get better results and then suggested I save my Venus-Mars moments for girltalk.
Good advice. That's what makes her the best Mom ever!
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