The weekly summary

I'm watching the Lakers game and decided to post a weekly wrap-up. I love the I am segments because they let me be creative yet brief in my busy life.



Well, it's happened. I've become that girl. The one who dates guys and never calls back?...I'm sure the men of the world know her. It wasn't really intentional (though thankfully fortunate). My cell phone blipped out on me and erased my call log and text messages. I no longer store men's numbers - saves me the pain of erasing them at end of relationship - so all the guy's numbers were gone in one blip. I had promised Salesguy that I would hang out with him last weekend. But nope. Didn't happen. I went on a train ride with FrontRunner instead. Oh, well. This is what the rest get for trying to make it all be "in my court" every so often. But, alas, I feel badly. I was planning to hang out with Salesguy. I had my pics of England all ready. But, alas and alack - it was a no go. I have become that girl who claims she'll call and never does. As for the obvious maybe you should enter in their numbers, I reply: I will on our wedding day. Maybe. I prefer never trusting in tomorrows. I can't believe how marvelously successful dating became after I stopped pretending one date can lead to another.



But enough about that....by default, I've entered the boring date only one guy routine. FR remains a super-nice guy and he seems fond of me. But dang - I really want to play Guitar Hero. Oh, sorry, television distraction. We had a really good weekend together. The train from Fillmore to Santa Paula is a blast. It's an old-fashioned crawler train. We sat outside for part of the trip - gorgeous vistas. In Santa Paula, we saw the only working model of a wooden oil pump and met the nicest tour guide named Barry. The oil museum was so lovely - I had no idea the various aspects of drilling here in California. Barry was amazing - he gave us this wonderful tour of the upstairs rooms, which have been restored to 1890s glory. The tile and colored glass were superb. We saw ancient cash machines and one of the oldest working vaults in Cali. I was so excited to discover some close-to-home history!



After the train, we came back to the house to watch a movie and have dinner. Since I live with Big Sis and family, private moments like that are rare. We enjoyed ourselves. He's a nice person to have in my life. We passed a pleasant spring. I know there's a next date this time - we're going to Get Smart on Friday. He's been talking about this movie since we first went out in February. I never though we'd actually go together to the premiere. Life. It's kooky. So, while he's still not Prince Charming (and definitely no David Duchovny), he's a pretty good piece of life as it realistically is for me.



Speaking of FR, my nephew laid down by me on the couch the other day. FR had dropped off a present for me (see I am statement). The Philosopher said, "That FR is a pretty nice guy." I agreed. The Philosopher continued, "Of course, you can never know for sure. Maybe he's just being that way so that you'll like him and think he's a nice guy."

I looked over at the ever-wise one. "Yep. That's the big problem with dating. You can never be sure."

Phil nodded intelligently. "But I think he's nice. I only have one worry about him."

I started to laugh but encouraged him by saying, "Oh, what's that?"

Phil answered, "Well, he never seems very sure what to say! I mean - I'm 7 - and I know what to say. So why doesn't he know what to say?"

I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "This is a big concern for your aunt as well."

Ah, Phil. He remains ever-wise and too grown up.

Now on to other news. I remain employed though I have started going to burn-out counseling. I kid not. In our environment, we have an entire department dedicated to trying to keep us one step outside of crazy. I took the step inside shortly before I left for Chicago - a tantrum the likes of which I never even saw in my toddlerhood. So, someone noticed - finally - and while the workload didn't change, at least I have a dedicated dumping spot for all my anger, disillusion and stress. I think I feel better just knowing that I have someone to hear me scream. I keep a log now of all my tasks. On average, I start every day with 27 hours worth of work. I get to log all of this and submit the log monthly to my supervisor and the clinic manager. If no one responds in 3 months, then my counselor will help me to contact human resources and find a new job. It's all very strange. It's the most gentle "don't let the door hit you on your way out" that I've ever experienced. I feel better about this path than just quitting cold, though. At least I will document the ridiculous nature of my job - and maybe leave things better for the next person...or at least leave a crumb trail for them when said next employee hits this region of the darkened tunnel.

I still long for London. I really want to be a mom and a doctor. In London, both dreams could be a reality rather than sacrificing one or the other here in the States. So, I wonder. I sorta brought up the topic with FR but then decided that it's much too early. After all, his number isn't even in my phone.

School is on break for a blessed 3 weeks. I am busy writing. I have several projects that I would like to complete before homework demands my time and energy!

The rest of life continues its never-ending evolution. I have but one goal right now - to learn to live in complete honesty. I find as I do so that I love God more and the world less. So many lies in the world - drink this, sleep with that, look like her....and so many people who have decided that the this and that is exactly the God they desire. God took me on an amazing but sad journey to realize that everyone in the whole world has exactly what they want - they just don't always want it once they have it. I have even met a Simon who asked how to buy the spiritual light that I enjoy every day. But I recognize my almost daily struggle to actually keep focused on important goals and to let long-held dreams (and friends I always wanted to impress) fall out of my life. I have accepted people who please God into my world. They are a hodge podge mess that would be shunned in almost any circle but I love them and want to treat them as kindly and mercifully as God treats us all.

So - may everyone have a wonderful week! I think of y'all frequently even if I write/call only rarely. Once I get myself firmly into this new life I'm trying to lead, I'll be better...okay, probably not until after graduate school...but eventually.