Last year, I was happily closeted in my religion. I'd toyed with the idea of going public but then I'd overhear an anti-Mormon discussion and quietly step back inside. I didn't talk to many people at all last year. It was no one's business who I was and I wasn't exactly a "fun" conversationalist until mid to late October 2007. At the earliest.
But then Mitt went and ran for President. And now I get to "answer questions" because it didn't take long for people to figure out that if I grew up in Idaho and went to Utah State for college - well, the odds were that Mitt and I must be church-buddies.
Here's the rub: I don't WANT to talk about the church. I get mad. I hate bigotry and I turn red and huffy and bitchy when I hear the false assumptions, outright lies, and mostly just narrow-minded stupidity people spout about my religion. So, I'm not very Christian when you attack me publickly and tell me I don't believe in Christ or hate black people or any other shit that YOU'VE decided must be true. That pisses me off. And I'll tell you so. In very non-Mormon language because the Church doesn't dictate who I am or what words I use...and don't YOU dare to tell me it does because you sure as HELL don't.....yeah, you can see the problem. I have a right to be me. And here it is, the 2nd of January, and I've already been accosted as I went about my Just Be-ing in 2008 philosophy.
It's all Mitt's fault. If he'd just been content in Massachusetts, then I wouldn't have to represent the church and Christ and everybody else. I could be happy hiding in my religious closet while going about doing good deeds without everyone else judging me as less worthy because I *gasp* believe in something beyond myself.
So, if you happen to be at the GOP, please, kindly, tell Mitt Romney I hold him directly responsible for the huffy conversation I just had with my coworker who DARED to tell me that I must not love Christ because if I DID, then I would take his (the coworker's) word for how I should live my life and what I should do with my Sunday morning and which prophets are real and how the Bible should be read and whether or not my own feeling are even valid.
Bullshit.
Oh - and Mitt - at the judgment day, I'm totally blaming all the swearing in this entry on you.
I really, really, really miss my closet.
*I realized some clarification may be needed: I love my faith. I love to talk about Christ, the church, and everything in between. But I hate my temper. And I know I'll lose it if someone begins the pretense of being an expert on my personal belief system or begins to condescend to me and feel that the poor little Mormon girl just needs guidance in order to be like everyone else. And since I can't keep my temper and no one is served by my losing it - I prefer to be quiet. My mom says that all this anger is natural - it's just part of the emotional turmoil of last year and it will fade and I'll go back to being nice, patient, and compassionate. In the meantime, it's really best if I just keep silent so that misguided people don't add "Mormons are hot-headed" to their stereotypical belief system. If you know your Bible, it should not surprise you that Peter and I are homeboys. I would definitely cut off an ear before I let someone I loved be taken from me - and I love Christ and the church equally. So, I'm not exactly the most reasonable & rational person when I'm told I don't love Christ and am not a Christian.*
12 comments:
People are stupid. It's just a default truth I live with. Sure, people are mostly good - I believe that, too. But they are also stupid. Tell your coworker that your best friend tells him to shove it up his ass.
And if I happen to run into Mitt - he does have a house in Park City - I'll give him your regards.
Mitt has wierd hair don't you think?
It is getting inersting being LDS today isn't it.
Yeah, Mitt has weird hair. And a house in Park City. And because of him, I've become a terrible representative of the church. How many times can one person pretend the "throwing the moneychangers out" portion of the Savior's life applies?! If there's a limit, I'm in deep doo-doo. Damn Mitt. Oops.
One of the things I like about Mitt is that he's Mormon, and that's at least partly your fault.
You have the right, of course, to prefer not to talk about your religion, but I'm sorry to hear that you don't like to represent what you believe in. I tend not to bring up my religion out of context, but if someone asks me, I'm happy to talk about it.
But most importantly of all of this: You grew up in IDAHO? That's one of the two states that I never did properly, and you are from there? So it's like I was vicariously there properly, too? Right?
Wait, you don't like black people? Glo, I don't know how to tell you this, but...
Just kidding! Nothing like a little racial humor to lighten the mood, eh?
Oh - Omar - uhm...it's not that I was busy. I just figured out that I hate you and since I never knew that until my schoolmate told me so...well, you can imagine my embarrassment...
Thanks for stopping by and lightening the mood! I needed it!!
In the worst good news EVER, Huckabee takes Iowa! This could all be over soon, folks!
Frankly Mitt kinda gives me the creeps. He's just a little too slick and polished and I sense that underneath the "Mr. Nice Guy" appearance lurks some really nastiness.
But what do I know?
Did I tell you about the ad I heard on Utah Radio about a new book published that "will help Romney supporters answer tough questions about the LDS Church?"
It made me gag. It is as if you are expected to vote for Mitt if you are LDS, regardless of your political stance or your feelings about the man.
I know how you feel. I too have to answer tough questions to people who have absolutely no idea what our religion is really about. You would think here, where I live, that it wouldn't be like this since more than half the population is Mormon. But, I think it's almost worse. Everyone has their opinions and nothing you say is going to change their minds. You can only live your life as the Savior would. (Or, as best as you can anyway.)
Don't worry, New Hampshire is destination of the month for political Yalies right now. If I see Mr. Romney, I will be sure to pass this along.
I gotta be honest, though. Huckabee scares me way more.
I'm not sure I want to be saying "President Huckabee" for the next 4 years...just sounds odd to me.
Warren Jeffs is actually who ruined it for me...I can't keep track of how many times I've seen or heard them misquote him as being the leader of or part of the LDS or "Mormon" church. Just when I thought we might be past the whole polygamy thing in this century, he had to screw things up for his church and the LDS church too.
I'd rather talk about the weather =)
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