I had a massive stream of consciousness day yesterday. To amuse and organize myself, I pretended to write the day in a diary, 13-year-old style, of course.
Dear Diary,
Today I stole a magazine from a homeless woman. I didn't mean to do it. Sorta. It's just - well, it was the HOT BACHELORS issue of People magazine. And she just left it lying there. It's not like I took her coat or anything. Plus, it had this cool Harry Potter story in it. I sure hope Harry doesn't die in the next book. I would be so mad. Though, he really didn't DO anything in the last book. He just follows Dumbledore around. So, I guess it won't really matter if he dies so long as Hermione lives since she's the only one who knows the spells and stuff.
Dear Diary,
I just don't know what to do! I mean, I came to California to get famous and be on film and be super-duper popular, and date a lot of boys....and that happened! Well, mostly happened. But now what?! I just feel so much pressure...and why do I really just want a quiet place to live and a place to feel at home. Why can't I just be like everyone else and want to be fabulously rich and famous?! Do you think there's something wrong with me?! You know - like instead of agoraphobia, I have famophobia or something. I'm the MTV GENERATION, dangit - I can't just slink away into nothing at the height of my fame without a jail sentence! Though that is very Julia Roberts classy of me, isn't it?!
Dear Diary,
I think my sister is ready to get rid of me. I guess it's healthy for us both. I've been an exhausting person of late and I'm such an attention-seeker. I embarrass myself all the time. Oh - why must I be so dramatic?! Hmm...I guess writing as a 13-year-old in a fake diary is hardly proof that I've overcome that tendency, eh? Oh why oh why oh me oh my!
Dear Diary,
Today I found out that the Vedanta Society is a cult. I'm laughing so hard. Out there in the world are a whole bunch of people who just suddenly dropped me. I wondered why. Now I know! They thought I was gone cult-crazy. Oh what a joke! I was just investigating options for enlightenment. Sheesh. Wanna know the creepy part? I never could find the place. I drove for hours looking for it - and never could find it. So, in the end, I went to the temple and found that my religion had what I was looking for....but the people who thought I was in a cult - now that's a real RIOT! Once I read more on the subject, I felt icky inside and realized it wasn't for me. Shee-eesh, people. Really. Have some faith in a soul. After all, according to half of Christendom, my religion IS a cult - so why would i need another?! Ha ha. This is all very funny to me.
Dear Diary,
I really have issues with decision making. So why do people keep saying, "You know what to do, you just don't believe you can do it." That makes no sense. I'm starting a society. A Society of Clear-Spoken Advice. It'll be a cult. HA HA!
5 comments:
See, now I'm confused. If pondering the fate of Book 7 is 13-year-old girl behavior, my most recent post would certainly make me... well, a 13-year-old girl. We should have a sleep-over and braid hair and, like, stuff!
I would like totally love like to be a member of ASOCSA! It sound like sooo cool!!
Wow... Blogging Glo is back.
And like we could do the sleep-over and like do masks and eat oreos and talk about BOYS.
Like totally.
You lost your 13-year-old ness the minute you said dangit. But both parts were pleasures to read. Like, omigawd, you have the Hot Bachelors issue of People? I am. SO. Jealousss!!
Can I have a Ha. Ha. Cult? We specialize in sarcastic laughter and not saying people are in cults when they'really not.
I think I miss being 13.
You don't need advice from others, just do what's in your heart.
Ha, heart rhymes with "fart."
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