I am learning Dahn Yoga. This Korean form of yoga began 5000 years ago. The website claims it was "lost" from Korean culture until around 1980 when Ilchi Lee suddenly started a studio in downtown Seoul. In 1991, it came to the United States. The center offers yoga for healing, energy work, and the opportunity to train as a yogi. I've always had a secret longing to be a yogi - but I'm just not pretty when I do Hatha Yoga. My triangles look like Rorschach ink stains and I wonder what subconscious animals are being manifested as people glance past me.
Breathing I can do. Drinking tea. I'm a most excellent tea drinker. I even hold a cup like a Geisha - evidence I watched Memoirs of a Geisha. So, when I hit upon a center that utilizes breathing, affirmation, and tea drinking in order to heal the wounded heart - well, someone shout jackpot! and listen to the snake sounds as we hiss out the "toxins" of our environment.
My only problem - well, it's a rather silly experience.
We begin by pounding our chests and "shaking our intestines." It's fun. I can see why kids find wiggling so amusing. Then we progress to "intense exercise" where we sit or stand while we breathe through our noses or teeth or - I kid you not - our brains. Then we start the affirmations. I jump like a child and shout, "Healthy body. Happy heart. Power brain." We clap and prance while singing, "I love my beautiful face! I love my beautiful body!" Then we laugh for 5 minutes - not as easy as it sounds without a Stooge standing guard over a Marx brother or Bob Hope.
I've often pondered how the Koreans got so silly. They don't seem a silly people. Then it came to me as we pretended to be cows last night.
Closed circuit cameras broadcast the classes on Korean television as part of its propaganda schema to justify war on America. I've supposedly learned to count to 10 and say my body feels so good in Korean. For all I know, I'm really saying all Korean infidels should die a slow and painful death followed by if you Koreans don't bomb us we'll bomb you first. As for the last - it really does take 10 words to say my body feels so good in whatever Korean dialect I'm supposedly speaking. I think that's sufficient evidence to make my point.
Is it any coincidence that 1980-1990, when Dahn Yoga was "rediscovered" coincides with the height of Korean anti-Americanism? I don't know. But I do find myself loving my beautiful face more each day as I drink tea in a circle, discuss any class-time self-discovery, and proudly assist the Korean war effort.
Hey. We all do our part in some small way.
7 comments:
I just passed out while trying to breathe through my brain. I'm going to figure this out if it's the last thing I do!!
After reading this, all I can think of are The Wiggles. And that's not good.
I'll join you for the tea-drinking part.
But I'd rather have a sword than self-affirmation chants about my beautiful body.
Yeah - the swords are tempting. If we could keep tea and swords, I'd be the happiest yogi in the world. Maybe I should "rediscover" an ancient form of exercise. I'm sure there's something in a cave somewhere around here.
My Uncle is single handedly bringing love and unity, and bridging the gap between the Korean and American cultures......by marrying up Korean women. He's on Korean wife number two, and lots of Korean girlfriends lie in her wake.
How tough can a country that eats their dogs on a bed of rice be?
I am in favor of pretending to be a cow. Nothing but good can come from that.
I just participated in a "workout" this morning that combined yoga, ballet and hip-hop. I wasn't multicultural enough to pull any of it off. And I think they left out the ballet section, or maybe I was laughing too hard about the ridiculous mantras from the yoga part that I missed it. Maybe I want to keep my bad energies. Did they ever think of that?
Post a Comment