Even Heidi Can't Fade Me

I was standing in the entry way to the kitchen as I chatted with my sister about various aspects of our day. I was laughing and joking, just like I normally do when my world isn't spinning so fast I can't breathe. I felt calm, happy, joyful, and hopeful.

My one remaining cat curled around my feet. I glanced down at him, "So, you want a new kitten? There's a cute orange one at the shelter."

My sister glanced up at me. "It's only been 2 weeks!" She laughed, shook her head and then shouted to her husband at the computer. "Remind me not to annoy my sister. She's definitely the move-on type."

I tossed my hair as I picked up the cat. "No use crying over what can't be changed." Big Sis laughed again as she rolled her eyes.

I trudged up the stairs with cat in arms whilst I acknowledged my new personal philosophy. See - life isn't stable. It changes. Sometimes you lose things and no amount of love will call a lost cat (or guy or job or opportunity or sense of self or philosophy or anything, really) back from pursuit of better bunnies on the other side of the fence. So, why worry about it? Let it be. Instead of building castles in the sky, build one in your own backyard. I glanced around at the amazing people who love me and tolerate me and see in me someone of highest value. As I did so, I felt all that warm fuzzy stuff of Bambi (the deer, not the porn star) fame.

Happy and content at all my inner wise-stuff, I literally jumped onto my new cozy chair with the book I've been reading by Orson Scott Card. A few minutes later, a little blonde appeared. She had dressed in green tutu, Princess underwear, a shirt rolled up to her armpits and a pink fuzzy headband.

"Auntie, my cat is sooooo fat," she said in perfect Queen Bee tones.

I looked at her seriously. "Channeling Heidi Klum again?" I asked.

She tossed her head. "Yes. We're fw-ends."

I opened my arms so she could climb her little 3-year-old self into my arms. "So, am I in or out?" I pondered aloud, very concerned about my fashion state.

"You in." The Diva proclaimed.

Phew, I thought. My life really is as good as it feels. We snuggled together as we watched TV. Then The Diva pranced off to annoy her parents until well after their bedtime.