I'm afraid you'll be ashamed when i tell you what I've done so recently.
One day, I realized something I had not suspected. It seems I use a great many staples in the doing of my job.
Yes.
It's true.
I'll give you a minute to process.
So - I noticed that I go to the supply room several times a week. Now - it should be noted that in hospitals - nothing is done if there aren't several forms filled out and several authorizations given. And that's how I got my staples. I asked. I signed. I got my staples.
Then - one day - as I needed yet MORE staples....I was at the copier. And there was sitting there a most peculiar thing. An unguarded box of staples. Right there. On the desk. Tempting me. Saying, "Take me! I come without forms! No authorization required! And who will know?! I am but one lowly box of staples."
And so I fell. I stole those staples. I signed no forms. I got no authorization. I just took.
It's very sad. But I am very happy.
Now when I need the umpteen million staples I use daily, I just reach into my drawer. And find those blessed staples waiting for me.
And that, dear reader, is today's horrifying confession.
9 comments:
As far as sins go, I've seen worse. That said, I am still a bit surprised by this.
I have been know to waste staples from time to time. Tragic but true.
They say the thrill wears off. They say paperclips are never far behind. Then *that* thrill fades.
What next? Rubber bands I suppose; might seem a bit of a stretch now but just wait, you'll see.
Oh my god! You've experienced what many women feel with their first act of sexual infidelity! I am both horrified and titillated!
you're on a downhill slope here glo. it'll only get worse. like Jam said, there are a multitude of office supplies you could (but haven't [i hope]) steal.
your willpower is weakened.
what will happen now? *shakes head*
Clearly this is a slippery slope. I will write to you in jail.
Oh, glo. Get your counsel on retainer. Since you took them without authorization, I suppose they could enforce some disciplinary action. No real jail time, though (since you're using them for the job). Or maybe once you convince them you risked everything to get the needed staples to be a better dietician, you may get employee of the month.
Write a book on nutrition or something else with all your dietician knowledge. Then you can be self-employed and never need an authorization form again.
I'm glad you guys are interested enough in the prison tales to stick around...;)
Another benefits of the ALMOST paperless office...staples are not a temptation.
Post-it notes, however...
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