Glo-Dad: Honey, you shouldn't buy that Saturn. It has no resell in Idaho!
Glo: Why would I resell my car in Idaho, Daddy?
It was at that moment I realized how far-gone my family is in the "Glo will marry Idaho Guy" fantasy. I would not put it past my parents to have reserved the church every Saturday from now to October, just in case I decide to dash on up and drag lazy guy to the chapel.
Since I'm an amazingly charming young lady, I decided I'm up to the challenge. Give the guy 2 weeks of Glotastic flirtation and he'll certainly propose. I gathered the galpals for a night of wedding planning. This thing has to happen fast. In just 20 minutes, we planned the perfect wedding!
The perfect wedding must include:
A beautimous dress full of lace and bows to accentuate my already generous backside. Cate has suggested we add even more beading and a row of bows down the butt - in case you missed that 3,000-square-foot event back 
there.And no dress is complete without.... the perfect shoes.
Don't think I forgot my girls! No way!
Roomie, Cate and Mrs. Charlie will look fantabulous in these gorgeous dresses from CandyApple:As for decorations, it's all pink, pink, pink for Glo!! Nothing would look nicer against the orange carpeting of the local chapel than this romantic getup:
Last but not least, there will be no entertainment. I've decided it's not fair for just the wedding party to stand in line, so each guest will take his or her place in a never-ending rotating circle of people-you-never-cared-to-know greeting! Won't that be fun?!
So, there you have it. Glo's PERFECT wedding! Now I only have to club the guy over the head and prop him against the doors, while trying to stop Roomie from kidnapping me, Mrs. Charlie from hitting on the married best man, and Cate 
from gagging herself to death over the dress.
Please, wedding crashers, don't leave me alone in this!
15 comments:
we're all invited right?
and you KNOW your many guests will just get you a mish mash of gravy boats and toasters.
a lifetime of gravy and toast....this union is starting to sound really appealing.
There's the funny that was promised! Though to continue my spirit of complaining, it was posted after midnight on the east coast, so the funny was a day late.
As Syar said, we all had better be invited.
I think the dresses look great, personally. However, I will admit that I was a little confused when you said "don't think I forgot my girls!"
Two weeks ago, your "girls" meant something else.
You'll 'livecast' the wedding, right? And unable-to-attend guests can patch-in with some kind of webcam doohickey. I would; I'd even rent a tux.* A live-action, globe-spanning wedding. You deserve nothing less.
* Or digitally alter my image to make it seem like I did.
Look, it's just not an Idaho-riffic wedding without the row of tiny bows cascading down the back of the skirt beneath the butt-bow to end all butt-bows. I'm just saying.
Um, is Lazy Guy's tux going to match the bridesmaids dresses - sort of an "Uncle Sam" interpretation?
You forgot to mention the fancy ruffly lace-trimmed anklets shown with the shoes. Verrrrrry important that the socks match the dress.
I'm just wondering - who picked out the orange carpet for the chapel?
Thank you, Glo! -I laughed my butt off!! (Which is quite the sight, believe you me. I think I ought to use a different kind of fastener this time, maybe call in a welder. Just as long as I don't have to attach it with a bow!)
Pictures, there must be pictures.
Hey if anyone can carry it off, it's you...which of these guys gets to be the ring bearer?
What an image :)
BTW Syar...love the socks!
You're totally right. Come visiting and lazy people like me who can't be bothered clicking on the links on my own page then return the visit.
I can't believe the candyapple model is smiling.
Although, she does look as though someone is sticking a pole into her back.
Of course, a wedding wouldn't be a wedding without drunken relatives being chased by irate inlaws...oh wait, I'm thinking of my family. :)
sam : thanks much! they'd be a lovely addition to the shoes and the dress don't you think? c'mon, glo, what's a wedding without lucky charm socks? somthing borrowed and all that.
WV : yahmze, cousin of yahtze.
My comment is gone! Argh! But I totally left love here earlier... hmmm... or maybe my computer took that with it when it bit the dust.
Anyways, those dresses are... terrifying, but I think I'd come just to watch the antics of the Bridesmaid and an unwilling groom. Awesome.
You definitely made with the funny, I approve.
When are you going to send out the perfect invitations? My sister has a site. (Linked by mine)
i can still forgive the dress... the shoes??? oh please... i'm begging you.. not those.. :D
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