A few weeks ago, I was chatting happily with Mrs. Charlie as I cruised down a canyon road. I cursed mightily when the light in front of me switched from green to yellow. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop, so I didn’t risk an accident by slamming the brakes. The lights flashed. California’s camera system caught me in plain violation.
Ten days later, the very ugly citation arrived in the mail. The state of California lovingly requested $351 in fines and my presence in traffic school. I shrugged. There was nothing to do. I ran the light and the camera caught me.
Last Sunday, Mrs. Charlie and I rolled out of bed at the crack of dawn to begin our trek back to California. I took the first driving stretch because Mrs. Charlie looked like a dead tuna. At 8:36 a.m., I crested a hill just outside Nephi, Utah, at 90 miles an hour. Five minutes later, I noticed the lights behind me. My life of crime attracts attention.
The officer was quite kind until he ran my record and saw that other little misdemeanor. It gave the impression that I disregard traffic laws or some other crap. The attractive yet stern patrolman wrote me a ticket for the full violation. I now owe Utah $107 in fines and my presence in traffic school.(Text on sign#1: Officer, will this sticker saying SUPPORT LAW ENFORCEMENT stop you from giving me a ticket?)
We switched drivers. Two hours later, Mrs. Charlie switched the CD to Disney’s Hero Songs – yes, I know – we are true evil incarnate. We were in the middle of a rousing Hakuna Matata when we zoomed over a hill outside Las Vegas. Red and blue lights blurred our vision.
Mrs. Charlie got off lucky. She merely associated with the delinquents of the world. She only owes the state of Nevada $72 in fines but can skip traffic school.
(Text on Sign#2: A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn. That was fun.")
We weren’t quite ready to graduate from misdemeanor to felony, so we declined the opportunity to knock over the next gas station. Instead, we bought some silly signs and took photos – what else do you do when you’re a hardened criminal?
9 comments:
According to the Florida Driver's Handbook (motto: License To Drool) the rule for yellow-lights is simply "Stop if you can." I'm sure your California traffic court judge will understand why you didn't stop.
You: I couldn't stop.
Judge: Ah. Well then. Case dismissed. Sorry for wasting your time. Would you like a fruit roll-up?
Utah will most likely be more tricky, especially since you were leaving.
Don't drop the soap.
getting tickets SUCKS.
damn, that was fun read. the green-yellow light thing, I always worry that if I run it, police choppers will be on my tail immediately, pull me over in a high profile televised take down and shred my newly acquired not-even full-fledged license and rip it to shreds before my eyes.
but then, my worry of jamming the breaks and being honked at by evil ppl in their big evil automatic cars overrides the enemy of the state fear.
peer pressure.
That's awesome. Sounds like you had fun. I ran a red light (blatantly in fact, my friend in the other seat was like "Katie... Katie... Katie! It's red, it's read it's re.... oh. Katie's not stopping for red lights today.") and there was a picture, but it's been two years, and the ticket has yet to come around. Sound like you had no such luck. Nice signs though!
It does sound like you have fun. Expensive and time-consuming, but most fun things are.
I haven't managed to pass a road test yet, and I'm waiting to retake it till after my last one clears from the long memory of the DMV - I ran that light on the first corner of my road test. The test ended there.
What does a person who got her license without a driving test say here?......
Your trip does sound like a lot of fun!
hehehe... i owed CA a lot... that's why i don't even regret leaving my car behind now. feel so free now :D
Bad bad luck. I myself have never been pulled over, but I can only imagine.
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