About 2 weeks ago, I flipped open a magazine to see Kate Hudson toppling about pages 200-something to 200-something else. "Hey, Kate," I said in less than stellar humor and began to read the crazy escapades of Ms. Spunk-tastic herself.
It was somewhere mid-cartwheel on page 200-whatever in the midst of a quote about rumored diva-like behavior that Spunkson said, "Sure, I get depressed sometimes. It's part of the process. When I have to go there, I go there."
Kate plunked down on her bottom with legs extended straight out in front of her. "You should go there," she said to me. As anyone who reads this blog knows, I respect celebrity advice. I immediately slid into the melancholy that I had been avoiding since the end of October.
"But there's a problem, Kate. This could have serious consequences for my social life."
Kate-rific spread her legs into a V and plopped down on her elbows between them. "Well, you don't have to tell anyone you went there. Long as you're not mopey-wopey, no one will caresy-waresy." She then pushed herself into a handstand and began a story about her rocker husband.
I closed the magazine determined to respect my sad mood. I spent most of November thinking deep thoughts about all sorts of discouraging things like where I'm going in life, what my life means, and if it's the life I'm meant to lead. To further honor Fate Funson, I reminded myself daily that my contemplativeness was no one else's problem.
As I reported, November and December mean Christmas music, so being in Melancholia meant searching out wonderfully maudlin Christmas music to match my mood. I thought it would be tough. It was. But I have 3 that I think everyone should hear. The first in this series is a cover of 'River'*, written by Joni Mitchell, but performed here by Aimee Mann
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Lest any of you worry, I think I am moving out of Melancholia. Today, I caught myself singing out loud in the chip aisle. Then I got in my car and threw my head back to laugh at this bumper sticker: The Peace Nook - The Thinking Man's Alternative. Yes, I thought. It was about time. That Peace Cranny has been over-run by idiots. (No. There is no Peace Cranny. That's the joke.) The next car's bumper proclaimed: Yes, we have no bananas. I couldn't resist laughing again. Perhaps they have run out, but I have a sneaking suspicion you can find some at the Peace Nook.
For the speaker challenged, I have provided the first 2 verses of this amazing song:
It's coming on Christmas. They're cutting down trees. They're putting up reindeer. And singing songs of joy and peace. Oh I wish I had a river, I could skate away on.
But it don't snow here. It stays pretty green. I'm going to make a lot of money. Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene. I wish I had a river. I could skate away on. I wish I had a river so long, I would teach my feet to fly.
Oh I wish I had a river, I could skate away on.
7 comments:
You lost me at Kate Hudson, because I think she is an idiot of fantastic proportions.
And what were you doing in the chip aisle? And don't try to tell me it's the chip and vegetable aisle.
Mable - sorry, dear, but I am trying not to over-involve the world in my existential crisis (there's a joke there for those of you hip to the existential crowd.).
Omar - If I lost you at Kate, then....I was never in the chip aisle. Don't know how you got that impression.
I've *always* really liked that song. When I assemble a Christmas Favorites CD it'll be on there.
But I'm a little disappointed - though not surprised - to learn of the Peace Cranny's demise.
Aww, RaJ. For getting, and then running with, the Peace Nook joke, you get to be today's favored blogger! All hail King RaJ!
This post has so many good things to pick up and run with, I had a hard time choosing. The siren call of the existential baton is still mixing metaphorical abstractions in my head, making batter for a square pi.
Times like this I wish I could blame something, *anything* on having:
(1) taken drugs, and/or
(2) been dropped on my head.
Sadly, no.
I didn't intend to read anything after reading Kate's name, but the words "chip aisle" don't often sneak past me.
My husband make fun of this song all the time because out of the blue it says, "I made my baby cry!!" We hear it on the radio and some guy sings it I think and that verse stands out more than this one and we just laugh.
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