Me: Oh, I thought we met before you asked me......
SADA: Did I mention that I'm a complete wanker who will never let you finish a thought?
Me: No, but I.....
SADA: I'm also very self-important. Allow me to illustrate.
Me: Very interesting. I once.....
SADA: Look. If you're gonna be one of those self-centered, high maintenance girls, then let's just say goodnight here.
Me: Heaven forbid. I am reputed to be totally.....
SADA: [eyes glazing over as he views my salad with non-fat dressing] Hmm. You're not planning to eat that, are you? I think a girl should be more, uhm, well, athletic. How much are you willing to change?
Me: Most likely I will abandon anything you'd like. I'm a pushover with men.
SADA: Good to hear it. Let's push that salad over, shall we? How about some water?
Me: Make it a Diet Coke. Tell me about your job, then.
[SADA proceeds to talk for the next 3 months while I listen pleasantly. We eventually go back to the same restaurant.]
SADA: Well, I think you realize this isn't working.
Me: Wha?! I've done everything you deman.....
SADA: You're just not what I expected. [Already looking at beautiful, thin girl nearby.]
Me: That was highly inconsiderate of me....
SADA: And you don't talk enough. Guys like a girl who can listen, but be funnier and more intelligent. Sometimes you just sit there. Guys don't like that.
Me: Can we be done now or do you have more?
SADA: And stop being so insecure about your looks. Guys like a girl who will eat when he eats!
Me: Do tell [now openly sarcastic]. I would like some ice cream.
SADA: Whoa! Eat sensibly! Have you seen your thighs?
Me: Well, I wish you the best. Call me whenever you need to abuse someone.
SADA: [stares off into distance, already completely past our 3-month relationship.]
[Theme Music Begins]
We're right/ yeah! / We're free. / Yeah!/ We'll fight. / Yeah! /You'll see./ We're not gonna take it./ No!/ We ain't gonna take it./ We're not gonna take it anymore./ Just you try and make us/ No!/ We're not worthless and weak./ We're not gonna take it. -- Not Gonna Take It by unknown '80s band
To all SADA, please be advised: I apologize if I declare your true colors, but I am no longer available to stroke your ego. Feel free to stroke yourself anyway that functions for you, so long as it does not affect me in the slightest.
The absolute, positive end to my SADA years.
23 comments:
amen.
Hoogity filter ON.
SADAs OFF.
Excellent.
[cheers, waves pompom]
Save for the quoting of (gag) Simple Plan, this post is spot on.
God, glo...(warning: this is going to sound unpleasant and uninspired) it's like you're right there in my thoughts, reading and editing and typing away everything I'm thinking/feeling.
Only with better grammar, more interesting imagery, and far wittier prose.
I love you for this. And for hoogity.
Amen.
G.Lo, that was a fabulous post. Beautifully written, and I'm so happy to hear this resolution. Of course you should give up SADAs and keep that radar finely tuned. No one deserves that, but it takes us all a while to figure it out for ourselves.
A big hug for you. Bravo!
YOU GO, GIRL.
(Glad to see "complete wanker" made it in.)
'Diz - And a big Sister! back atcha.
Scroob - I'll likely need that cheering as my social life disappears.
'Dia - join me in overthrowing the SADA movement...
MEP - thanks for the props - I needed them after last night.
Cate- I did that for you ;) (And because it was well deserved.)
I may have too much testosterone to comment on this post, so I'll just contribute that I think "We're not gonna take it" was originally performed by Twisted Sister.
SADA's british?
Thanks, Mr IT! I could not remember the band at all last night.
JM - har, har.
a pirate laugh, thanks.. come on after wanker i read the entire thing in a british accent.
As part of my preparation for moving to London with Cate, I refer to all men per media representation of British slang.
It reads pretty funny in pirate, too.
*cough*title change?*cough*
Which bothers me only because I:
1) am almost certain it happened, and
2) can't for the life of me remember what it was when I visited earlier today.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. :-)
Seeing as I (pretty much) change stuff with no hesitation and/or remorse.
Just wondering, is all. Feel free to stick to a Delusional RaJ story. Most likely that's what I'd do.
Not delusional. G.Lo'd revisionist post.
amen to that!
met one once... arggghhh... so annoying.
Sigh. And I so wanted something, *anything* to prop up my self-diagnosed delusion.
Guess I'll have to keep looking. :)
they are out there but now that you have an anti-SADA protection spell you should be ok. somewhere out there is a g-lo lover just waiting for the the light to shine on him.
(Note: Please forgive me for sounding insensitive, but NY girls aren't like this at all, so I am completely amazed.)
I don't know what is more pathetic, the SADA or you first actually hanging around for 3 months after that initial dinner? You should have been out like a scout on a new route! I might have missed something. Is it a mormon thing?
I remember a nurse who took care of my grandmother used to say things like women should cater to a man's ego and that they should follow his will without contradiction, but she was reborn. As a Catholic, I still thought she was strange.
Oh yeah, that theme music isn't by an unknown 80s band. It's by Twisted Sister, probably one of the more famous 80s metal bands around - especially due to their frontman. I'll admit, however, I wasn't a fan. LOL
Peace
No, not a religious thing. A ridiculously, pitiful part of myself. I am incapable of seeing flaws in other people. I just can't. So, I just keep breezing past the bad stuff. Makes me a great friend, but destroys me a bit romantically.
Which is why I don't believe there is anyone for me. Anywhere.
This whole thing is more about deciding to be okay with that.
i'm one of those, too, glo. and unfortunately there's only so many times you can get run over by a mack truck before you realize you need to learn to look both ways and sometimes decide not to cross the street afterall.
it's less about being snotty and more about accepting that you deserve better.
Like the truck analogy...only add the total darkness of my endless optimism and kill the lights on the truck.
That's what they say, Rain....that's what they say.
Nonono, I cannot accept this. Is possible to have a full SADA-less social life. Granted, as a Smug Married I probably should refrain from having an opinion, but I simply must refute the connection between "insist on seeing the good in everyone" and "there isn't anyone for me out there". I'm sure it must be possible to identify shades of goodness, and go for only the best. And surely that best person will only love you the more for your intrinsic optimism and supportiveness of even, well, complete wankers.
In fact I'm now pretty sure I'm describing myself and Beloved here.
Regardless, I do believe the "happier alone than with the wrong guy" motto. Not that I've had to test it lately.
So we'll just carry on cheering, shall we?
you rock!
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