This is the worst gig ever. Even worse than when I was scribe for that ogre who liked to knit purple ponchos. By the way, the dragon dictated that girly crap yesterday. I don't write stuff like that. She wants girly, she can call the ogre.
Anyway, the spell. Today we had to begin our plan to slay the Pac-King. That guy is protected! Better than P.Diddy. We went to his secret lair because they had some 2-for-1 thing. Yeah. 2 hassles for the price of 1 near-death experience. The Pac-King's guards are called Sup-Plies and they come in various sizes. They do this weird thing with time, too. It went all slow, we must have stood in the vestibule for 1 hour before anyone even noticed us. Then the dragon started to blow fire. She is really testy lately, but that fire thing gets attention. In the end, we slayed us 34 of the small Box Sup-plies and nabbed the Strapping Tape Sup-Ply, the Marking Pens Sup-Ply, and the Scissors Sup-Ply for ransom back to the Pac-King.
When we got back to the apartment (after another time-whacked hour of dragon sobbing, 3 beg-your-pardons from local law enforcement, and paying off the owner of that black SUV she melted in the parking lot - I really hate this job...), the Sup-plies kept sneaking off to hide in the dark corners of the prepared book bins. I have introduced the dragon to the idea of libraries - she used the strapping tape to pin me to the wall. What a temper!
Countdown to Humanity: 9 Days
8 comments:
You slay me. You really do.
Nine days to go and the packing process has already begun? Your mistress has absolutely no chance at all of being slacker of the year. None whatsoever. But, one less SUV on the road isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
And you think Extinct Monster Languages was a poor choice, try being an “Erik Estrada History” major. I had to learn every line of his from “Dos mujeres, un camino” Explain to me how useful that is. I don’t even speak Spanish!
Packing? Jon, what are you talking about? I think you misread the post. She's talking about the Pac-King.
Anyhow, I last moved almost two years ago, and I still haven't finished undoing what the Pac-King did to my stuff. Good luck.
I don’t know, I’m out of my mind.
Tell the dragon to incinerate all of her personal belongins. Moving is much easier this way.
The Pac-King is a horrible, treacherous creature who can multiply ones personal belongings. No amount of incineration can stop the dread curse. No matter how you resist, there will always be belongings. Only the Sup-Plies can tame the onslaught of belongings.
We had a mighty battle yesterday. When I have recovered more, I may write some of it, but for now, I must focus on today's task - Earning the Paych-Eck.
I saved up all my blood, plasma and sperm donation money and still lost it all in Vegas. That is what being a poor college dude will get you to do—donate bodily fluids only to loose it in the slots and tables of Vegas.
Blake
The accidental switch of 'loose' for 'lose' made that comment twice as funny. Sometimes, grammar is over-rated, Everglades...
Damn Vegas and its eternal glow...how many victims will it claim!
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