That's what my answering machine told me last night. I knew that, of course, because as a coworker had regaled us all with a story of jury duty, I had clapped my hands to my mouth in a sudden rush of memory. In a panic I stated, "I forgot to go to jury duty yesterday!"
The absolutely hilarious part is that I awoke on Wednesday with this horrible feeling that I could not go to work that day. I drove to the train with a sense of doom. I tried to board, but just could not.
I blamed it all on the stress in my life: my lease is up and I can't find an apartment I can afford; for some reason, continue to be crazy about unavailable guy who continues to avoid me so that I can't prove everything is back to normal after I gave him the cold shoulder (mean, but necessary - seriously, I'm crazy about this guy, so I couldn't go on flirting when I knew.... ok, stopping now); gave all my meager savings to Uncle Sam; and, my apartment is filthy. So, I sat on the train platform and "coped".
In the meantime, someone in heaven cried out, "You idiot! Go to the courthouse!" Alas, they spoke heavenese and I was incapable of responding. I boarded the train an hour later and eventually forgot the foreboding that glued me to a bench that morning.
Today, I had to deal with my own stupidity. I called the court Jury officer.
"Hi! How do I avoid going to jail for my own stuipidity?" I asked with normal jovial flair.
She laughed. Then proceeded to lecture me on the importance of jury duty. At this point, I sighed dramatically and explained the variety of stressors affecting me. She immediately reverted to matronly pity as she offered to reschedule me for a later date. Good thing the world is full of nice people, otherwise, I would be writing this from a 4x4 cell with help from Big Betty, who I really hope doesn't like fat girls any more than the average male...
10 comments:
oh my goodness!!! thank God, they didn't get you in trouble... ha ha ha... that's scary shit there! :D
Ah honey, I'm so sorry that it's so poopers for you right now...but you're got a great attitude about it! I'm here if you need company...I'm pretty good at singin the blues.
Big Betty? Hah! Don't sell yourself short here - I think you would totally be the one running things if you ever ended up in jail.
Big sympathies on the apartment issue. I have done enough flathunting to last me a lifetime. Here's a virtual cup of chai to calm you down, then. Mmmm. Cinnamon.
Look, I an sorry. I should NEVER have posted such a nasty comment. I regreted it as soon as I left it. I am not proud of what I did.
I should find a way to make my points without being rude.
Here goes:
Diabetes
Heart disease
Obesity
Breast cancer
Colon cancer
-- no vegan will ever have to worry about these problems.
However, I concede that veganism per se does not necessarily guard against every health problem in the world. A "vegan" who ate nothing but sugar and white flour would not be doing well. But "lack of animal products" would not be the cause of the problem.
Thanks, Pam. As you can see, I deleted the really rude comment.
In defense of my comment, first-it was made in jest. I respect veganism - I'm a dietitian for heaven's sake! It is very difficult on a 1 year old since they self-select a low variety of foods. It is the very attitude portrayed here that allows some of these poor children to continue to suffer instead of diversifying their diet until they have advanced enough feeding skills to allow the kind of variety necessary for a healthy vegan way. While I'm on the subject, animal fat does not cause any of those conditions - high intakes of saturated and trans fats do - the kinds found in the fattiest cuts of red meat, bacon, whole fat milk and processed foods - chicken and turkey have never been linked to disease.
That said, I am very sorry that I upset my nameless friend. I have great respect for vegans as I try to have for all people. In the future, I will think more carefully about silly comments. BTW - I leave my e-mail address on GetUpGrrl's website, so please e-mail personal attacks directly to me so that I can feel like a bad person in private - it's really the least I deserve.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but Betty is my aunt, and I happen to know she does like her girls with a little junk in the trunk.
Crummy. That is soooo my rotten luck!
I do post these for all the world. I have to expect some recoil. It's always good to have a reminder that the world is full of diversity that needs to be respected, if not agreed to. Maybe next time, my 'turf' will be open enough that the person will leave a name.
I have been to jury duty for a week. It sucks. We sent this drug dealer to jail. Good thing I had a job that paid me while doing the duty. It was a union job at the time. They are almost no more.
I am glad it worked out for you. Cheers.
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