In the meantime...

Still waiting on a baby, so I am completing some photo projects. I'm tired of being indoors and I miss work, but we're trying to wait until Nana arrives before I start any type of "labor encouragement." I'm loopy with boredom, though, as I do not rest well! So, here are some photos of the past few months. Dave & I have had fun in the very short "just the two of us" period of marriage!

Happy Halloween - we went as Barney from the Simpsons and his pregnant girlfriend!

Awesome seats at a really good LA Kings hockey game for Dave's birthday

Decorating my first "our" apartment. I had a lot of fun with the creative elements.

Ethan, Allison, Heather & I went to see a marionnette show in Santa Monica before the theater closed. Fun times, old jokes, great kids.

I'm very ready for pregnancy to pass but I'll miss several things...one of which is the opportunity to watch people be good to each other. There is no time in life where people are more aware of you than during pregnancy. I'm very unpopular on elevators (TV...seriously...how often do women go into labor during an elevator breakdown?!) and great conversation everywhere else. On the subway, however, I'm a case study in culture drift. In general, when I get on the subway, the oldest, least "white" man on the subway pushes himself out of a chair on wobbly legs to offer me a seat. I'm tempted to tell him that I'm okay, but the gesture is so touching that I accept it without hesitation...okay, graciousness and a back that hurts cuz this kid fells HUGE!

However, every so often, I'm surprised by what ensues. The last time I rode the subway, there were no seats and it was very crowded. The young, urban, white men did the typical look-away and pretend so as not to feel obligated to give up a seat. There were no old men seated as all had given up seats to the many women, who were not eager to stand. So, I grabbed the metal bar and prayed my balance and back would endure the bumpy ride. Sharing the bar was one of those "scary" types who had more tattoos than visible skin. The tattoos were only interrupted by piercings, of course, and he looked like he may have only had Coke for his meals that day. But he nodded politely at me and made room for me to hold the bar. After a moment, though, he excused himself.

Seconds later, I heard the scary guy calling, "Ma'am." I looked towards his voice and he was gesturing at a now empty seat recently vacated by a very sheepish (and frightened) young, urban, white male. I waddled over to the seat and thanked the men graciously. The young, not-scary man mumbled, "Sorry. I didn't see you." Inwardly, I laughed. It was obvious that scary guy had "informed" the young man that his seat was to be occupied by the very pregnant woman. I wished I'd seen the interchange. He must have been scared straight out of his stupor when that man approached him!

It's just one story in many - I think humankind is still good and it's been fun to be the focus of all that caretaking. We struggle to know our neighbors or change our habits but there's still goodness here.

Now, though, I'd rather have them coo over a newborn! I'm uncomfortable!

Ok...so calmer now

I apologize for the dramatic rant last post. We are NOT as destitute as it seemed. In fact, God came through with some lovely financial bonuses and we are now back to 'getting by'. I'm still REALLY upset about the Prius and, as fixing a scratch is so far down the priority spending list as to be laughable, I'm mostly just trying to laugh about it all.



(Note: Also, I did not mean to imply that we have bought cheap and/or unsafe items for the baby. We are VERY price-aware at present and do a good deal of shopping and buying items a few years older than 'cool' in order to keep to our very strict budget. However, all items are perfectly safe & appropriate & durable....though that bedding set probably won't be shared among siblings.)

We are definitely in crunch time. As of next Tuesday, the baby is considered "full term" though he's not officially due until December 24th. He's measuring large for age and blah-blah-blah but it's still a waiting game. In the meantime, the need to finish up that nursery is top of our minds...along with about 3,000 other pending "must do" lists before little Ryker makes his appearance, including his daddy's need to pass the commercial drivers license test so that we can leave unemployment as a nasty memory during the period of gestation.

During tithing settlement, our Bishop told us that a member of the ward is the driving manager for UPS and another member has connections to FedEx. At present, those are our dream jobs. They require minimal time away from home, have fantastic benefits, and plenty of opportunity for career advancement once Dave completes his business degree. So, if you find a moment, please pray for us!

Otherwise, we're mischief managed for a while. My sister threw me a lovely baby shower last weekend. I enjoyed getting out of the house, doing my hair & makeup and having some social time before the little bundle takes over my every spare minute. I had a chance to chat with people I care for and to eat some yummy Claim Jumper food. My work also hosted a baby shower for me - so I've been abundantly spoiled. There are clothes in baby's closet, diapers in his diaper bin, and all the legal requirements have been filled. As soon as his nursery doesn't look like a storage closet, we'll be as prepared as I anticipate to be!

A Monthly Newsletter!

I noticed as I logged in that I've been faithfully posting about once a month, so we're just going to call this blog a monthly newsletter. One day, my husband and I will upload pictures and we'll make this a complete, multi-color phenomenon. For today, it's just an update on all things McCulloch family.

The Pregnancy
Still progressing. Right now, the little pest is performing leg windmills on top of my stomach. While this is contributing to a small return of nausea and early satiety, I'm grateful for the signs of life. He's doing great and growing right on schedule. He's survived SIX plane trips (the most recent to Minneapolis) without even a set of hiccoughs. The most recent ultrasound revealed a fully functioning little boy with good movement in the head-first position. I'm hoping he stays so compliant clear through labor.

Speaking of labor, we are very busy frightening ourselves through labor education. There are definitely days where I wish for less scientific information on the matter. It may have been better to one minute be picking peas in a field, the next be in labor, and the following be either dead or back to work. As is, I feel inundated by the good, bad and ugly of what awaits us in 2 months. I spend a fair share of time figuratively writing 'Don't Panic' in nice, friendly letters over my head.

The baby
The baby also has a name: Ryker David McCulloch. I never saw myself as the "weird" name type but the name has a really good story and purpose. My husband's family is rather recently immigrated from Scotland. In the Scottish naming tradition, our little bundle should be named after his paternal grandfather: Richard. Hmm...not my favorite name. So, we searched the world over for a way to pay homage to Scottish traditions without following the exact name line. After months of frustrated searching, I stumbled upon Ryker: the Nordish derivation of the English name, Richard. It seemed perfect. When we told Dave's dad, he got tears in his eyes over the idea that we're respecting tradition. I've been surprised by how many people like the name. I was concerned that everyone would wrinkle their noses at our unusual (and somewhat Star Trekian) choice.

The Work
I have a good job but I'm looking forward to maternity leave. For the first time since I left college, I don't have to go to work for 3 whole months. I know those months will be filled with exhaustion and baby-anxiety, but it still feels nice to think about 3 whole months without the morning rush and stress of my job. Of course, that also means I have to trust the state to provide my paycheck. Everyone in Cali just started laughing hysterically at that statement. Since the state can't be trusted to pay its own bills, let alone mine, Dave & I have been crazily stockpiling money to pay our rent. God has been kind and we've had several large windfalls of late. We just pray the cars stay functional and the medical bills remain manageable so that the money can go where it's been allotted!

Dave has taken a job as an on-the-road truck driver. This has been such a grueling decision for us. We're not looking forward to his lengthy absences but after 14 months of job searching, we had to have a solution. This is the only industry we've found that is open enough for him to get an easy in without unpaid internships, ridiculous experience requirements, and rotten pay. So, he's in training right now. He'll leave on his first big "outing" in January. I'm already mourning the loss of the guy on whom I rely for everything. It'll be good for me to remember to be independent and a challenge not to become so independent while he's gone that he feels unnecessary. We know that God will bless us and that's about as far as we can go in the processing of this huge change in our plans.

The pregnancy is an emotional bag and/or housecleaning section
I know that 'nesting' is common in pregnancy - that need to put aside all the old and have everything in order for the birth of the baby. We've cleaned and re-cleaned the house literally several times. However, I think I'm also going through a period of culling the outside forces that may distract me from momhood. I've always been a keeper of people - once collected, I rarely let go of a friendship - but lately, I've been letting myself be offended, truly a first for me. Dave pointed out a while ago that I'm a little too responsible in conflict. I accept guilt and work for solutions, often in a one-sided venture to maintain a friendship. I'm usually successful but lately that whole process has felt overwhelming and exhausting. For the past month, I've been in this very self-contained place with just the baby and I - oh, and we let daddy intrude every so often of course. I'm coming out of that since I know that the baby and I will need support after we're 2 separate bodies and especially once Dave starts trucking. However, the month of living internally was an interesting experiment. When I stopped taking all the responsibility for maintaining my friendships, I was quite surprised at the results. For some friends, this was a really healthy shift and we were able to come back to a more balanced place. For some friends, the change was completely taken in stride as though it had never happened and we've resumed communication exactly where we were. For other friends, I saw what Dave had mentioned - all the energy for that friendship had lived with me. When I stopped maintaining it, the other person shrugged it off, even in instances where I thought we were inseparably connected. Whether I had stopped communicating because I'd been offended or just because the burden of communication had felt ornerous at that time, the lack of reinvestment on the other person's behalf was illuminating. A part of me was a little hurt, I'll admit, but most of me recognized that I'm an overinvestor. Thankfully, this little man inside me is wiser than his mama and he's led me on quite a journey...albeit one that wants to put His Highness Ryker at the center of my entire existence.

The Church
Probably the thing I feel most grateful for at this point in time is the awareness that Heavenly Father has had of Dave and I. I became aware a few months ago that pretending or politically correcting everything I say on this subject was akin to negating the powerful efforts God has maintained to sustain our little family. From bringing Dave and I together to the extremely healthy gestation of this little one to our financial stability, there is no explanation but the miraculous. We are highly blessed and very aware that God is in every detail of our lives and that without him, nothing that is would have been. We are working to be more profitable servants, though, at times, our love for Jay Leno may disrupt our nightly scripture study and my desire to live internally may frustrate our service efforts! However, we are very aware that we owe him greatly and should at least publish His good works on our behalf.

The funny closing story
Sorta in that vein...the primary program was last Sunday in church. I love watching the children present everything they've learned over the past year. As I am the music leader (primary chorister), I was a little stressed. I am also the primary disciplinarian and so I had double duty over the little monsters...errr....sweet spirits sent from above. The kids did amazingly well, though, and I only had to pull out "the look" for one wayward soul who had found a piece of paper that served as an eyeglass during the Bishop's remarks.

The best moment of the whole program, however, was due to one of our sweet little Sunbeams (class of kids age 3-4). He was being assisted by his teacher in order to "read" his part in the program. The teacher is a sweet, dedicated woman with an unfortunately thick Mexican accent. As she whispered in our little guy's ear, he got a little lost. She whispered, "I am a spirit child of my Heavenly Father. In Psalms..." The little guy did his best as he repeated to the audience: "I am a spirit child of my Heavenly Father. It sucks." The entire crowd burst into laughter. The poor embarrassed teacher corrected him and moved on, but there was some mad giggling by the adults through most of the next song.

Well, that's the basic update. We also went to Disneyland and I travelled to Minneapolis...but there's just not time or room for every story! Happy month! By this time next month, I'll be at 36 weeks gestation!

Ye Said General Update

Husband & I returned from our trip to Utah last Monday. We had a great time. I'd post pics but we were too lame to remember to take any! I am thoroughly dependent on my family to provide us with any photographic record of the entire experience.

Anyway - here's a summary of the whirlwind:

Thursday: Flew to Salt Lake City. Husband got stuck in traffic and arrived 10 minutes before loading time. Thank heavens that a very nice flight attendant had helped me to arrange everything so that our luggage and ourselves arrived simultaneously at our destination. She was a gem among airline personnel.

Friday: I went to get a manicure that took forever. So, we left late for Idaho. We went to Bear World, a really great semi-zoo near Rigby, Idaho. You can feed the bears and watch the baby bear cubs play. It was also here that I learned that bears give birth to 1/2 pound cubs and realized that there is no justice among mammals. Humans, who are, in case you didn't know, much smaller than bears, give birth to 7-9 pound monstrosities, while kangaroos & bears barely grunt and out pops the baby. Where is the logic in that?

Saturday: The final wedding event in Idaho. I feel like there is not enough gratitude in the world for me to thank all the people who worked so hard on my wedding. My mom's friend hosted the event. She had worked to make her yard an absolute floral wonderland. In the end, it was the reception of my dreams. I am so blessed.

Sunday: My brother's newborn daughter was blessed (religious ceremony) in Logan, Utah. She is an absolute doll. We all fell immediately in love with her and spoiled her to pieces. It won't matter, though, she'll still be the sweetest thing under 10 pounds in the whole nation. Then we had a luncheon at Mom's house (party #2...keep counting).

Monday: Sarah (aka Cate the Great) came up to Logan so that we could hang out. We shopped for a maternity swimming suit (the time had come), went to coo over brother's baby, and ate pizza. Then she left and the rest of us went to the family reunion for my Dad's side of the family. It was a pool party (Party #3). I had a husband to entertain so I missed all the good gossip. Darnit. That's my favorite part of a family reunion!

Tuesday: I don't really remember this day. There were errands, exhaustion and some swimming at the Logan Rec Center...then I threw up. Not my day.

Wednesday: Supposedly, another relaxing day...haha. Instead, we went to the Fun Center for Lazer Tag & bowling and then my husband's sister, nieces and their families came over for a dinner party (party #4). I was glad to spend some time with the Utah in-laws since I don't know them very well. Of course, because they're night owls, they then wanted to go 4-wheeling after dark. I'm a recently married, pregnant woman, so I'll leave to your imaginations how well that went over with me (Hint: not well).

Thursday: We went to Raging Waters to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday. It was amazingly fun. I couldn't do the slides, but it felt great to float around the lazy river and play at the wave pool. My husband had fun bonding with my brother on the crazy slides. Afterwards, we had yet another family reunion, this time with Mom's family. Her family is beyond lively, so the night was filled with story-telling and food. The baby decided to move a lot that night, so it was also fun to share the "Quickening" (Seriously - does my baby have to lob off other Highlanders' heads in order to be born? That word has just been ruined.) with my friends & family. (Oh - and that was Party #5...yep, 5 parties in 7 days!)

Friday: Off to St. George, Utah for Pioneer Day! We stopped in Cedar City, Utah, for some games in the park and chased elusive fireworks in St. George. Of course, we took some time to swim & golf since that's what St. George is all about! (By the way, whenever I tell people that we vacation every year in St. George and when I planned my wedding in St. George, they assume it's the Bahamas. I don't always clarify that misconception *evil grin*).

Saturday: I promised my husband I'd stay at the condo with him in the morning. We had plans but instead we played host to the maintenance crew who needed to fix the ceiling fan. There will be more on this missed opportunity later. Later in the day, we finally saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (best HP movie yet!). An evening thunderstorm spoiled the day's pool excursion but it was fun to watch the lightening!

Sunday: No rest for the weary! Our 3-state vacation concluded in Las Vegas, Nevada. We saw the Tournament of the Kings at Excalibur...which has become the sluttiest stop in Vegas. They had a half-naked dancer in the lobby! Everywhere you looked was less appropriate than the last glance. We were thoroughly disgusted. Luckily, the show was nice and the rooms were lovely, so we just ignored the casino...especially since we had 2 children under age 10 in tow!

Monday: Back to the real world. *sigh* I miss my family so much when I return to LA-la land. Even my apartment felt a little disappointing after the fun of a week with family.

So, that was vacation. Fun, family, friends, parties and non-stop travel. No wonder I'm a bit tired. Okay...and that might be part of the grumpiness. However, the fact that my dope of a husband actually answered the question his ever-irritating female friend posed to him (Hint: it involved the world laid) has certainly contributed to my expanding bad mood. It'll be a long, long, LONG time before he gets to give the affirmative response to that impertinent, inappropriate, and downright immature question unless he shapes up both his mouth, willingness to please said friend, and overall respect for my privacy! Okay...done ranting...vacation was too good to rant much more!

Tuesday: We were supposed to have a "quiet" day but instead we went to the Fun Park

Update on baby & Olliver

We had our 16 week OB appointment today. The baby seems to be doing well. The doctor had to really work to get it to stay still for the heart doppler. The baby was not fond of all the poking around its ever-enlarging home! It's weird to think of a little, moving creature swimming around inside of me, especially since I can't feel it yet. The heartbeat is nice and strong and I've grown as expected. The only worry is my ongoing weight loss. I'm doing my best but the parasite just takes all the food - not much I can do about that!

This weekend, my second cat, Olliver, was returned to us. He's such a cute little orphan. He's been passed around like leftover cheesecake but just remains quite the adorable little cat. However, he has this spine-tinglingly loud meow. Seriously, you can hear this cat 3 doors away. He enjoys meowing, too, and does so regularly. In fact, constantly.

My husband does not like noise. I've wondered if we should permanently stuff his ears with something so that he can tolerate the noisy world better. So, let's just say that Olliver's noisy existence has been and unwelcome addition to Dave's happy world. He bears it as best he can but then the yelling starts. Two nights ago, I enjoyed a sleepy chorus of MEOW-hiss (by Preston) - shout (by Dave). It went on several hours before I sent everyone to separate quarters. The kitten didn't mind the hissing or the yelling, but it certainly was enough to ruin my night's rest!

Yesterday, the kitten was mostly quiet until mid-day when he started his cat opera impression. After about an hour (Dave's estimate, but I'd bet it was more like 3 minutes.), Dave chased the kitten back into the back bedroom. He reopened the door when the cat quieted but Olliver didn't emerge from his hiding place in the closet.

I got home a few hours later and, after kissing my husband and petting Preston, went to check on the new addition. He pitifully meowed when he saw me. I picked him up and carried him out to the front room. When he saw Dave, he ducked his head in my arm and whimpered until I let him go. He ran back to the bedroom and hid.

"Honey, I think you hurt his feelings," I joked with Dave, who gave me the patented animals-aren't-people glare that spouses reserve for the other spouse's pets.

The evening passed. I worked to coax the kitten out but he'd come only so far as he could see Dave before dashing back into the bedroom. Finally, I told Dave he needed to go and apologize, mostly joking.

Dave rolled his eyes but dutifully went to the back room to pick up Olliver. He sarcastically apologized. The kitten looked at him, purred during his pets, then jumped down and ran out to the living room without a second thought. He happily initiated play and spent a lazy evening irritating Preston - all without more than a muted yelp.

I laughed heartily. That petulant cat just thought he was owed an apology!

Well, Happy Mother's Day to You!

We spent a really great weekend with my parents and sister's family in San Diego. It was the first time I'd been with my mom on Mother's Day in 6 years! We had such a lovely time - Sea World, beach day, delicious Mother's Day brunch, great mom-daughter advice chats...everything a weekend with Mom should be.

On our way home yesterday, Mom texted me to say that my sister had made it home safely and to ask how close we were (since we live further west than she does). I texted that we were doing well, almost home, had had a lovely time, and that I loved her. Then my dear, sweet mother - new to the text-habit of our generation - sent me back her loving sentiments, or so she thought.

When I flipped open my cell phone, here is the message I received: "Good lord you too." My mom rang a moment later, laughing hysterically over the difference one word makes. I laughingly asked if she'd cancelled our life insurance policies she'd held for us during childhood or if we should be nervous - and apologized for surviving the drive home, of course!

Alas, all too true....

Romance. So much more likely in the abstract.

Just when I can't wait another moment...

Christmas arrives. So, welcome Spirit of Christmas. Welcome to my neighbor's yards and my inward heart. Welcome.

Doing some housekeeping...

I am cleaning out the things in my life causing me stress. I am looking at every part of my life and trying to decide if it still serves a purpose in my life. If not, I'm tossing it out.

I have an offer for a new job and I've told my current boss that if she fails to fix my current job, I will take that offer.

I told the boyfriend in no uncertain terms that the time for excuses has passed. We've had a lovely year with 6 months of commitment and that's plenty of time.

I announced to my professors that their commitment to me was that I could miss deadlines if I had work commitments and I am invoking that clause.

I told off a cabbie for waxing on about the economy and the news. I don't need any more bad and if he can't say something nice and pleasant, I'd rather not give him a tip, thank you very much.

I made that fertility appointment I was hoping I wouldn't need because things would happen "the old fashioned way" with a husband and family.

Then I told the kitten that I've had quite enough of 4 am restlessness and he could spend a few hours in the bathroom if he didn't choose to behave.

I'm being incredibly nice about each ultimatum. I begin with acceptance of individual agency and freedom, I thank the person for their service and support, and then I explain in my calm but certain voice how my needs are not being met and I need to act in my own self-interest. I am not sure I have ever been so coldly selfish. I have ignored discussions of timing or love or patience or sadness. I have pointed out that my past patience is sufficient and that no thought of timing or love or any other factor was made for my needs when the other person elected to pursue self-interest. What's more...I do not care about my timing or the ill effects on any other person's life. The time is here and long past that I meet my own needs.

I love the shocked looks on their faces. I don't believe anyone believed that someone so nice and self-sacrificing would ever truly reach their limit. But here I am on the eve of Thanksgiving announcing to the Universe that I am truly cleaning out the junk in my metaphysical house.

Irony on a Mental Health Day?! Say it ain't so!

I developed an insta-crush on Phillippe Cousteau when he appeared with Matt Lauer this morning. I was studying statistics and cursing the stress in my life when my own personal David appeared.

I don't remember the segment. I was too lost in his sea-like eyes. He has the ultimate run-away job and he's saving he planet. As I paged through book pages that I barely understand and worry that I'm running out of time to accomplish everything I need to do today, one corner of my mind wandered the ocean with Diver McDreamy.

We talked about the shocking changes in reef life. We tutted over the changing interactions among whale families. We shook our fists at ditzy anti-conservationists who thwart our labors. Sure, I'm fat, tired, whingy, easily nauseated at sea, and freak out when natural things touch me, but none of this mattered to Phantas Phillippe and I. Our connection was intellectual, not sexual.

And that's a good thing...because just as I became convinced that Phillippe Cousteau would rescue me from my humdrum stressful existence, the Alannis rule of irony kicked in: It's like meeting the man of your dreams and then his beautiful wife.

Oh drat. I suppose she couldn't be fat or frumpy. A man with a name like Phillippe Cousteau would find something just this fabulous.

So, sighing, I go back to studying. I may not be able to roam the 7 seas with a handsome Frenchman as I inform the world about climate change, but at least I had a few hours break. I guess he saved me from my stress after all.

Because I'm too frustrated with my job to do much else...

My job, as I know it (click to read the whole comic - I'm too lazy to adjust my page programming stuff so this works):








And now I pause for a public service announcement:




And nothing else has changed...I'll post pics from my trip as soon as I find the camera cord and some time that isn't swamped by the unrealistic demands of 1) my job, 2) my professors and 3) my semi-committal boyfriend.

Now I have to go back to being non-productive as I surf the net for news about the economy and secretly wish *I* were the unemployed persons who didn't have to go to a crappy job for an indeterminate amount of time until the government runs out of money to pay for corporate parties in the Bahamas.

October Pictures

So, I'm going to out myself and upload pics to my public blog. Weirdness. I wish I had more time to blog. So much is going on and I'm really very happy...alas, between grad school, serious dating, church, and work - there's barely any time for the minimum acceptable standards for humanity, let alone a hobby. But here are 3 small stories to pass some blog time.

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From October 2008

This is simply a picture of me that I like. Really. I do. Dave says it's a good picture "because of the beautiful subject." Oh gag. How did I end up with a sentimental guy?! Poor thing. However, he should be glad I put up with him. The picture above is from his nephew's wedding last weekend. I found out about the wedding one week before the event andhad no idea about any of the plans. I just showed up in casual wedding attire - what is that?! - and made a lot of small talk. I think I looked good for how much time I'd had. During the course of that week, I'd prepared a presentation for the national conference, completed 2 school assignments, finished prep for Dave's upcoming birthday, attended 2 funerals, and successfully fought back a cold. That's my life these days!

From October 2008

Speaking of Dave's birthday month, here's a photo from the Midway Birthday Bash. We went to Santa Anita racetrack and then drove go-karts. While at the race track, we were standing & watching the last race. After the horses had cleared, we just stayed there and talked for a while. A woman came over and told us, "You two look so cute. You really need a picture of this." We handed over a camera and oila! we had a picture. She actually took 3 of us and this one is my favorite.

From October 2008

Last but not least - the adorable kitten. I inherited this kitten from Cate during a whirlwind trip to Utah. He was too adorable to have no home. He's the world's most perfect kitten - playful but not aggressive, loving but not needy, smart but not intrepid. His life is very good. He has 3 devoted adults, 3 tolerant kitty friends, and 2 children who play with him and cart him around all day. He's our version of Garfield's Pookie - too adorable for words. Yesterday, however, his world came crashing in around him. During a miscalculated leap to the edge of the bathtub, his paws slipped from beneath him and he tumbled into 6 inches of water. He went completely under and came back to the surface sputtering and sopped! My sister quickly scooped him out of the water and he ran crying to the bedroom. I found him, wrapped him in a towel, and held him until he warmed back up. The poor little drowned rat then buried his face in my leg and stayed wrapped up in my arms or curled in a ball in my lap for the next 4 hours. He was fine - but we realized how spoiled he is if a little bath caused this much trauma!

I am...

proud to be an American and eager to serve each and every Internat fad!

I am...

tired of my brain blowing up each Wednesday (when all this works itself out, I'm sure I'll blog the Wednesday phenomenon because it was funny when I told it to Andi on the phone earlier) so rather than think anymore, I submit an offering from someecards.com...

I am...

not upset that my friend who met her guy 3 months after I started dating my guy is getting married. No. I am not bitter. Not at all. Not bitter. Not angry. Not annoyed. Or at least that's what my plastic smile and over-enthusiastic hug will portray to her at the party.

I am...

much too freaked out about the future to be blogging. Why did the stock market have to plunge?! Why can't life be simple?! Why am I so easily whacked out by circumstance?! Why can't I believe in happily ever after??!!

I am (secretly *shhhh* really secretly)...

tired of mourning September 11th, which, while tragic and shocking, was far from the WORST thing that ever happened in the world and, after 7 years, we really all should be moving beyond our grief. I'm sure something else will come along soon to rock our worlds and keep the media entertained and politicians yapping.

But, if anyone asks, I, too, spent the whole day reliving the experience, mourning with victim's families, and hailing the Red, White & Blue.*

*Maybe this is just happiness talking. I just don't want to feel sad today.

I am...

puzzled by a sign over the Mountain Dew spigot at a nearby gas station (and distressed I didn't have my camera handy):

OUT THE ORDER

Is this a comment on the spigot or the political system that created the spigot? Is Mountain Dew plotting a takeover? I don't know what to make of such rebellious ideology blocking the morning caffeine for so many addicts.

I am...

literally in shock over the nutrition facts label and low-fat granola that came with my McDonalds meal...is Mickey D's finally getting it? I'll reserve that judgment until they do away with trans fat and high fructose corn syrup.

(and...I am more than a light sigh-y over the guy I'm dating, who, when I finally stopped being mad at for having a moment of doubt, is so very worth all the emotional risk involved in this non-committal but completely committed thing of ours.)

I am..

amusing myself completely by noticing how completely self-absorbed I am.