My apologies for the brief interruption. I was moving from the green house to the beige house. I'm glad to report that colorful things can brighten the house - and an extra 400 square feet is always a welcome addition, even if the walls are monochromatic.
The boxes are unpacked and the old house is almost clean enough to be handed back to its owner. So, I'm wasting my night after a long day.
I've been vegging and watching YouTube flashback vids of General Hospital (I'm sparing you my most recent fave fanvid only because I deeply respect your right not to be attacked by my obsessions). I realized it's been slowly moving away from the expression of any strong emotion from love to sorrow. I wonder why that is...in a medium beloved for its over-the-top drama, why play everything off with the callousness we've come to expect from everyday life? Reminded me of something else - by keeping relationships shallow, we may learn to harden ourselves enough to avoid getting hurt - but we also never love enough to understand grief. What a sad, lonely world it would be if no one ever loved enough to ache over loss, but I see us heading that way as relationships become more disposable. I'm glad I will never be such a person. I don't enjoy grief when it comes - but at least I know that I can attach. I can feel. I can love forever.
Of course, Psychology Today would claim that's just further evidence of my drama queen addiction. Oh well, one man's castle is another man's cottage, I suppose.
4 comments:
Forget Psychology Today - you are wise. I valued the fact of my heartbroken misery as much as I did the tumble into love. Wisdom is born out of the deeper experiences, and to know that you can love - that is knowledge to treasure.
I'm still here. Reading, bemused, amused, bewildered and uplifted.
I just don't have much to say. Didn't know you were moving tho! Must've missed that in between the last post with the Philosopher and the birth control rant (which I thoroughly enjoyed for it's rageyness and also, I sympathize).
Hope you're as good as you deserve to be! (which is plenty of good)
I learned this lesson the hard way (I guess don't we all) when my dad died. I was only 19 and of course I was deeply affected, but one of the things that moved me terribly was seeing a friend--to whom my dad had been a mentor and friend--just besot with grief. I remember him asking, "If it hurts this badly to love, why love at all?" Of course we all know the answer to that one, but witnessing it firsthand is humbling I guess.
"What a sad, lonely world it would be if no one ever loved enough to ache over loss"--simply beautiful and profound. Thanks!
There must be something in the air this year about people moving. Glad you are through the worst of it and off on a vacation.
Loving you!
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